Read aloud... Been around before but still funny...

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English 

will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which
was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the  British Government conceded that English spelling
had some room for  improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would
become  known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will  replace the soft "c"… Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants
jump  with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should  klear up konfusion,
and keyboards kan have one less letter.

 

There  will be growing publik enthusiasm in  the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"
will be replaced with "f"..  This will make words like fotograf 20%  shorter

 

In the  3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted  to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are  possible.

 

Governments will enkourage the removal of double  letters which have always ben a deterent
to akurate  speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the  silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go  away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such  as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz  yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from  vords kontaining "ou"  and after ziz fifz
yer, ve vil hav a reil  sensi bl riten  styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil  find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem
of a united urop vil finali  kum tru.

 

Und  efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze  forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza  pepl.

Thanks Ralph