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Sunday, November 30, 2014

Sunday's Vehicle - 1968 Studebaker Avanti

It is interesting to note that many of those on the list are also on Stephen Harper's Enemies List

Canada Revenue Agency privacy breach leaks prominent Canadians' tax details

Detailed tax information about the private lives of hundreds of Canadians — many of them rich and famous — was sent to CBC News by Canada's tax agency in a major privacy breach.

The highly confidential details, including home addresses of taxpayers and the value of tax credits they were granted, are contained in a copy of a Canada Revenue Agency spreadsheet covering the years 2008 to 2013.

The 18 pages include information on donations made by such Canadian luminaries as author Margaret Atwood, former prime minister Jean Chrétien, grocery magnate Frank Sobey, cartoonist Lynn Johnston, pollster Allan Gregg, financier Stephen Bronfman, former CBC executive Richard Stursberg, Olympics chief Richard Pound and many others.

"Letting confidential figures slip that way, is very sloppy … I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose," Atwood told CBC on Tuesday.

The list outlines what donations of manuscripts, photographs and fine art these Canadians have made to Canadian galleries and museums, and includes their home addresses and the value the taxman attached


Vote Anybody But Conservative in 2015

Elvis Presley - Unchained Melody - with never seen before intro and in t...

Elvis Presley - ‘Unchained Melody’:

When Elvis Presley hit the road in June 1977, he was an absolute mess.

He was only 42, but years of prescription drug abuse and horrifying dietary habits had left him bloated, depressed and near death.

He had an enlarged heart, an enlarged intestine, hypertension and incredibly painful bowel problems.
He was barely sleeping and should have probably been in the hospital, but he was still a huge draw on the concert circuit and the money was too good to turn down.

It had been over a year since Elvis last released a studio album, and manager Colonel Tom Parker was determined to get more product into the stores.

Despite Elvis’ horrid shape, Parker arranged for a camera crew to film the June 19th show in Omaha for a planned TV special and live album.

It eventually aired on CBS two months after Elvis died, and has yet to resurface in any official capacity. 
This isn't the Elvis that his estate wants the fans to remember.

Two days later, the cameras were still rolling when the tour hit Rapid City, South Dakota.

It was another weak and sad night until Elvis sat down at the piano near the end to deliver a spellbinding rendition of “Unchained Melody."

As guitarist Charlie Hodge held a microphone, Elvis dug deep and poured his heart into the song.

His body was falling apart, but his voice remained almost as powerful as ever. Without any doubt, it's the last great moment of his career.

The tour limped along through five more shows, wrapping up June 26th at the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis, Indiana.

The show ended with "Can't Help Falling in Love."

Thanks Ralph.... very sad.... not the way any of us want to remember "The King"

An incredible 360 degree tour of the Smithsonian Museum

Here is something special, a virtual tour of the Smithsonian Museum room by room. It is really something with a 360 degree viewing by using your cursor. You easily spend days/weeks looking at everything. Just marvelous for kids and adults. Follow the blue arrows on the floor to move into new rooms.

Shows inside and outside of the museum and there little cameras here and there which show detailed info on certain things. If you click on the floors (upper right corner) you get a floor plan of that floor and you can click on a blue circle and go directly to that room.

Truly incredible web site.
Watch it in full screen when you open this up.  Use the roller on your mouse to move in and out. Look for the "arrows" on the floor and click on them. They take you to other places.

The Present Trauma - Share if you care about our warriors

Buckwheat Zydeco - Buck's Nouvelle Jole Blon

Mechanic Constructs Drivable "Upside Down Truck"

Thanks Maria

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Saturday's Vehicle - 1987 Morgan Catalina

There is hope for Canada's future

Canadian Youth Delegation Open Letter to Government // Lettre ouverte au gouvernement Canadien

Le français suit

To the Government of Canada:

We are the Canadian Youth Delegation, supported by more than sixty environmental non-profits, labour groups, and youth organizations. We are youth from across Canada who are attending the upcoming UN international climate change negotiations (COP 20) in Lima, Peru. As we prepare for our participation at the negotiations, we realize how important it is for us to introduce ourselves and tell you that we refuse to tolerate the inaction of the Canadian Government when it comes to climate change. We intend to hold you accountable for the decisions you make at COP 20.

We have grown up in a world threatened by the impacts of a changing climate. For our entire lives, world leaders have been aware of the irreversible damage that humans are inflicting on our planet, but have done almost nothing to reverse it. You, the Government of Canada, have made it clear that you are more interested in the profit and power you gain from a fossil fuel based economy than you are in ensuring a sustainable and livable planet for generations to come. Since assuming power you have


Ayatollah Steve

CANADA What a country - Toronto Maple Leafs fans finish singing US anthem after technical diffic...

Before the Toronto Maple Leafs faced off against the Nashville Predators, there were some technical difficulties during Michelle Madeira's singing of The Star-Spangled Banner. The fans in Toronto did something beautiful to help her out.

Big Easy: Remy's Victory Party and Dance With Anne

Foxy Lady (Jimi Hendrix) cover by Eva Vergilova

Satan's Lady Bug

Read more about the bug here....

Thanks Kerry

~~~Native Woman and The Wolf~~~

Friday, November 28, 2014

Friday's Vehicle - 1957 Plymouth Belvedere

A must read from a wounded warrior..... to Harper's seals

An open letter to my Employees - the Members of Parliament of Canada.

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

Yes, you did read the subject line correctly. You are employed by me and the other 33,000,000 Canadians living in this fine country. ...

This is a fact that many of you seem to have forgotten while sitting in your offices on Parliament Hill in Ottawa and in your constitutional offices that are all paid for by the taxes extracted from our meager wages.

I am not just your ordinary constituent. I am one of those inconvenient "Veterans" who faithfully served her country for 32 years and was medically released because of physical and mental injuries. To say that I am not happy or impressed by the behavior or the statements some of my employees have been making about me and my fellow Veterans is a great understatement.

Mr. Fantino has shown that he needs to purchase a much better watch, attend time management courses and utilize them. Most importantly in order to continue with his current employment and to hold his current position he must attend anger management, harassment, discrimination and diversity training. These must be done by an outside agency and his attendance be certified by a third party for continued employment. These measures need to be taken because of his past behaviour that he has apologized for but never changed so the apology means nothing. Just like the one yesterday.

Ms Gallant. So disappointed in you. You represent members that live and work on one of the largest Army bases in Canada. You work in one of the cities with the largest concentration of military members in it and you could not even be bothered to find out from members that suffer with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder/Injury) and OSI (Operational Stress Injury) what it is like for us to come forward and the repercussions of doing that. “The widely held belief among soldiers that admitting to post-traumatic stress can jeopardize their careers is little more than a figment of their imaginations", MP Cheryl Gallant told the House.”

Have you not learned by now that the mandarins you are surrounded by do not tell you the truth? They tell you what you want to hear or what they want to have put into policy, not what is really happening. Then you stand up in the House of Commons and open your mouth without checking the facts because you trust these people – so, how often are you going to insert that feces covered foot in your mouth?

I want to give you a dose of reality here about why we, as members of the military, do not readily stand up and self-identify as having PTSD or OSI or any other medical condition. The standard of care really depends on what branch of the military you are with and what base or unit you are posted with. For the most part there are not enough Doctors, Social Workers, Psychiatrists or any of the health professionals available to work with the amount of members needing the help so you are lucky if you get an appointment once or twice in a year.

Now, here is the kicker - when you go in and self-identify that you have PTSD, OSI or a major physical injury you are put on a "Temporary Medical Category" for six months. You are only allowed to have two of those before you must be (no option allowed for the Doctor) put on a Permanent Medical Category - which means you have just started your exit out the door. Your career is over. So, remember, I told you, you are lucky if you get to see a health care professional twice in a year on most bases, a Temporary Medical category can only be stretched out over a year before you are basically on your way out.

Now, Ms Gallant, tell me again, the stigma about our career ending because of PTSD is all in our head. Go, get out of your office, and talk to any mental health care professional and they will be able to tell you that two sessions over a year will in no way begin to help any person start to cope with PTSD or OSI. It wouldn’t matter to you because after 6 years in office you have a gold plated pension for life but for those of us willing to DIE for our country, we have to serve for a minimum of 25 years now to get a 50% annuity of our best 5 years. Also if we are kicked out before 10 years all we get is a return of contributions – if and when they get around to it. Thanks for showing up, now that you are broken and we don’t want to spend any time letting you heal properly, out the door you go –be somebody else’s problem.

So, now with closing of Veteran Affairs offices across the country you want us to go into Service Canada offices when most of us have extreme issues dealing with crowds, noise, anxiety, small areas, our backs to open areas, trusting people that we do not know and calmly sit and discuss extremely personal issues in open spaces. Well thought out plan here.

I suggest that you Ms Gallant and Mr Fantino invite myself and a few others of my fellow Veterans who deal with PSTD and OSI to sit down with you in an office for an hour and you can experience first-hand what it would be like. I am pretty sure that you would quickly realise that your “good idea” isn’t such a great one.

If you would like to hear from someone who would tell you the truth and is willing to work with people to come up with viable solutions please contact me. I am a reasonable employer, I want people to be able to see their potential and work into it. But I also realise that if there are people who will continually stonewall others to stop them from reaching their best then they must be dismissed.

You can reach me at this email address or for follow up discussions. I hope to hear from you because you have proven you really do need to be educated by someone who will not lead you astray.

Deborah Kent.

Raging Grannies Sing: 'Hit The Road, Steve'

Keep Health Care Public!

Keep Health Care Public! tells the story of the Harper government's massive attack on public health care and medicare in Canada. There will be $36 billion taken out of public health care!
Hear Maude Barlow, Paul Moist, Rosalee Longmoore, Larry Hubich, Erin Weir, Dr. Ryan Meili talk about how we can fight back.

Can you think of any Prime Minister, President or World Leader that would withhold food, water, or health care as a bullying tactic to force its citizens into compliance

Stephen Harper and the myth of the crooked Indian

Can you think of any Prime Minister, President or World Leader that would withhold food, water, or health care as a bullying tactic to force its citizens into compliance with a new government law, policy or scheme? Can you ever imagine this happening in Canada? I don't think most of us could.

Yet, this is exactly what is happening with Harper's implementation of the illegal C-27. Minister of Aboriginal Affairs Bernard Valcourt has threatened to cut off funds for food, water and health care if First Nations do not get in line and abide by this new legislation -- despite the fact that it was imposed without legal consultation and is now being legally challenged. How many First Nations children will have to die for Harper to sit down and work this out with First Nations?


Reunion between Anita and the wolves


Chester and Earl are going hunting….
Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't many ducks out there, I'm not going hunting."
So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice.
Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there."
Earl looks at Chester and skeptically says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth are you?"

Obviously Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it. There really are only two ducks out there!
Where did you get that dog"?
Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want one, you can get one from him".
So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks.
Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in its mouth and starts humping Earl's leg.
Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. All he wants to do is play 'fetch a stick!' I want my money back!"
This concerned the breeder who asked Earl what the dog did.
So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg.
The relieved breeder says, "Earl, dogs can't talk. He was trying to tell you there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"
Thanks Richard

Golf on Christmas Day- for golfers everywhere.

Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning,
roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.
His buddies all chimed in said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority; figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune!
I bought my wife a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."

The second guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She is up to her eyeballs in brochures."

The third guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual.

The last guy in the group stared at them like they have lost their minds.
"I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on her ass and said, 'Well babe, Merry Christmas!
It's a great morning -- intercourse or golf course --'

She said, "Don't forget your hat."
Thanks Norman


Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thursday's Vehicle - 1967 Karmann Ghia

The Harper government still have not accounted for this money

Where the heck’s that $3.1-billion? Where’s the fury?

So is that it? There is $3.1-billion in government money unaccounted for, as Auditor-General
Michael Ferguson reported some time ago. It just kind of flew off into the netherworld. And it seems most everyone has forgotten. As in, too bad taxpayer, nothing can be done.

You have to wonder, has there ever been so large a federal sum dematerialize like this? Will there be no inquiry? Will not one head roll – not a public servant’s, not a politician’s?

The money was initially targeted for public security and anti-terrorism funding. There was $12.9-billion allocated. Only $9.8-billion has been accounted for. Mr. Ferguson asked the Treasury Board, which is supposed to track spending scrupulously, to explain the gap, to come up with some answers. It didn’t have any. It still doesn’t.

The Conservatives, who tout themselves as first-rate managers of the public purse, seem just to have brushed it off. They hoped, maybe in their wildest dreams, that the story would go away in a few days after the A-G’s revelation back in April. And that’s what happened.



The Prime Minister without a heart doesn't care about the people

Income inequality is killing thousands of Canadians every year
A new study from Statistics Canada shows that income inequality is associated with the premature death of 40,000 Canadians per year.

By: Dennis Raphael Toba Bryant Published on Sun Nov 23 2014
The crash of an airliner is a tragic disaster that triggers major investigations and quick action to make sure the same problem doesn’t occur again. As a result, these events are, thankfully, extremely rare. Imagine the response, from industry, government and the public, if a plane crashed every day.
And yet a recent report by Statistics Canada highlights a preventable cause of death that is having exactly that kind of impact, but which is being largely ignored. The study demonstrates that income inequality is associated with the premature death of 40,000 Canadians a year. That’s equal to 110 Canadians dying prematurely each day. To put that into context, imagine a Bombardier CS-100 jet airplane full of passengers falling out of the sky every day for a year.
How does this report arrive at this conclusion? It followed 2.7 million Canadians over a 16-year period and calculated death rates from a wide range of diseases and injuries as a function of the person’s income. Canadians were divided into five quintiles of approximately equal numbers from poorest to wealthiest. The researchers then compared the number of deaths of the wealthiest 20 per cent of Canadians to the other 80 per cent.



Speak out now or lose another safety net for the working class Canadian

Over 3000 rally to stop cuts to health care and to stop private clinics in Ontario

Today thousands of people traveled from all corners of Ontario and gathered at the provincial legislation (Queens Park) to stop the cuts/closure of their local hospitals and to stop the increasing number of private clinics in the province.


Finally the mainstream media is saying what I said two years ago

16×9: Taxpayers will foot the bill for cleaning up contaminated sites

Giant Mine was once one of Canada’s richest gold mines, creating jobs and yielding more than 200 tonnes of the precious metal between 1948 and 2004.

It’s often been credited with helping to build the city of Yellowknife, NWT.

TIMELINE: Yellowknife’s Giant Mine

But there is a darker side to Giant Mine as well, one which may leave taxpayers on the hook for nearly $1 billion.

The process used to extract gold from the mine created a highly toxic dust called arsenic trioxide. Today there is a large quantity of the substance buried underground, perilously close to downtown Yellowknife and an important marine ecosystem.

READ MORE: Arsenic trioxide: What is it is and why it’s so dangerous

Environmental advocate Kevin O’Reilly says the total amount of arsenic trioxide stored beneath the mine site is 237,000 tonnes.


Happy Thanksgiving America

Purple Rain (Prince) cover by Eva Vergilova

The baddest Mustang

VOTD: The Baddest 65 Mustang You'll Ever See!

Head cold

Thanks Normand

Engineering Test Question

An excavator weighing 22 tons is on top of a lowloader trailer and heading east on the Trans-Canada Highway in Alberta. 

The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1-inch steel rebar spaced at 6-inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at a 1-foot vertical spacing.

When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half?

Assume no effect for head wind and no braking by the driver, who was on his cell phone.
Thanks Randy

Ole fills in !!!

A doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.

'Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.'

'Yes, sir!' answers Ole.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: 'So, Ole, How was your day?'

Ole told him that he took care of  
three patients. 'The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.'

'Bravo, mate, and the second one?' asks the doctor.

'The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir,' says Ole.

'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the Doctor.

'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including
 her panties and lies down on the table and shouts: ' HELP ME -    I haven't seen a man in over two years!!' 
'Tunderin' Yeezus, Ole,
 what did you do?' asks the doctor.

'I put drops in her eyes!!

Thanks Shirley

No Pun Intended

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't you start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...And pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories...
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Thanks Ralph

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Wednesday's Vehicle - 1966 Mustang


US, Canada & Ukraine vote against Russia’s anti-Nazism resolution at UN

UN General Assembly’s Third Committee passed a Russia-proposed resolution condemning attempts to glorify Nazism ideology and denial of German Nazi war crimes. The US, Canada and Ukraine were the only countries to vote against it.

The resolution was passed on Friday by the committee, which is tasked with tackling social and humanitarian issues and human rights abuses, by 115 votes against three, with 55 nations abstaining, Tass news agency reported.

The document voiced concern over the rise of racism-driven crimes around the world and the influence that parties with extremist agendas are gaining.

It called for a universal adoption of the International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination. Many nations including the US, the UK, China and India, signed the convention but did not recognize a mechanism resolving individual complaints it establishes, which makes the convention unenforceable in their jurisdictions.

The resolution also decried attempts to whitewash Nazi collaborators by depicting them as fighters of nationalist resistance movements and honoring them as such

It condemned any form of denial of Nazi war crimes, including the Jewish Holocaust.


Outing the Conservative spin doctors

Canada's deficits and surpluses, 1963-2014

Last Updated: March 18, 2014

The deficit is a key consideration for all parties as the federal government brings down its budget. Use the chart to explore Canada's budgetary surplus and deficit history, including revenue and expenditure figures for every fiscal year from 1963-'64 to 2013-'14.
Select a prime minister's name on the left-hand side to highlight figures from his time in office. John Turner and Kim Campbell each served for less than one fiscal year; data for their tenures is included as part of their predecessors' terms. (Go to link to see deficit by Prime Minister)

Economics 101.... NOT Harpernomics 001

Why the economy sucks, in one chart

The following is something I've prepared for the next issue of CUPE's Economy at Work, a popular economics quarterly publication I produce.

In his annual Economic and Fiscal Update (EFU), finance minister Joe Oliver told Canadians that while the federal government will finally record a surplus next year after seven years of deficits, we can't expect the economy to grow much faster than the slow growth we've experienced since the financial crisis, with economic growth expected to average just 2.4 per cent over the next four years.

Economic growth in this recovery is a third slower than in the recoveries of the '80s and '90s while job and wage growth has also been dismal. And despite all the spending cuts they've made, we also can't expect the federal government to have much extra money because the additional tax cuts they've promised are eating up a lot of the surplus.



The Harper Reformists sat idly by as the Veterans Affairs surplus grew and watched, without compassion, as more than 160 of our wounded warriors died by their own hand and countless others suffer in silence. Now they want us to believe that the 200 million budgeted for mental health issues is a generous offer.... just prior to the 2015 election........ "And I say unto thee, go forth and fornicate thyself you heartless bible thumping illegitimate child of Satan".

Senior Trying To Change Password

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
 USER: cabbage 
 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. 
 USER: boiled cabbage 
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 
 USER: 1 boiled cabbage 
 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 
 USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages 
 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 
 USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages 
 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 
 USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! 
 WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. 
 USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow 
 WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
Thanks Kerry

Acceptable uses of the "F" word in history

There are only ten times in history where the"F" word has been considered acceptable for use.
10. "What the @#$% do you mean,
we're sinking?"
-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912
9. "What the @#$% was that?"
-- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
8. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
-- Custer, 1877

7. "Any @#$%ing idiot
could understand that."
-- Einstein, 1938

6. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
-- Picasso, 1926

5. "How the @#$%
did you work that out?"
-- Pythagoras, 126 BC

4. "You want WHAT
on the @#$%ing ceiling?”
-- Michelangelo, 1566

3. "Where the @#$% are we?"
-- Amelia Earhart, 1937

2. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
-- Noah, 4314 BC

1. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton, 1998
Thanks Randy

The Cork

Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower
after their bomb making class, when one notices the other
has a huge cork stuck in his butt.
"If you do not mind me saying," said the second,
"that cork looks very uncomfortable.
Why do you not take it out?"

"I regret I cannot", lamented the first terrorist.

"It is permanently stuck in my butt."

"I do not understand," said the other.

The first terrorist says, "I was walking along the beach
and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke,
and then a huge old man in an American flag attire
with a white beard and top hat came boiling out.

He said, "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."

I said, "No shit?"
Thanks Ivan