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Sunday, November 23, 2014

They Walk Among Us!

Just ready to go to bed and I received this chuckle.................. enjoy!!!!

  Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he
  put it in his front yard and hung a Sign on it saying:
  'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge
sat
  there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people
were
  too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge
for
  sale $50.'

  The next day someone stole it!

  They walk amongst us!
  -------------------------------------

  *One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
  shouted.....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
  said...'where?'

  They walk among us!

  ----------------------------------------------------------

  While looking at a house, my brother asked the Estate agent which
direction
  was north because He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
  She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
  My brother explained that the sun rises in the east And has for
sometime.
  She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that
stuff......'

  They Walk Among Us!
  --------------------------------------------

  My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard
  an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to
the
  beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd
get
  sunburned because the car was moving'.

  They Walk Among Us!
  ------------------------------------

  My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut
through
  a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
  They Walk Among Us!
  -------------------------------------------------

  I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the
lost
  luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me
not
  to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good
  hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
  (I work with professionals like this.)

  They Walk Among Us!
  ------------------------------------------------
  While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to
  go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it
cut
  into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just
cut it
  into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

  They Walk Among Us!
  And last, but not least:

  Dumb as a box of Rocks
  TRUE STORY:

  A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where
Nancy
  Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze
the
  good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at
ease.

  'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental
  deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

  'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone
  should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on
the
  track..'

  'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

  Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and
  died during one of them. Which one?''

  Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You
wouldn't
  happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know
much
  about history.'

  Sadly, they walk among us!
  ---------------------------------------------------------------------

  Traffic Camera: A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic
camera.
  He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even
  though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went
around
  the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again
the
  camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he
drove
  even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again
  flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.. He did this a
fifth
  time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past,
this
  time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the
mail
  for driving without a seat belt..

  You can't fix stupid.

Thanks Heidi

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