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Friday, September 30, 2011

Friday's Car

Thanks Richard


Heather McKeown

Picnics can happen anywhere, can't they? Checkered cotton tablecloths can spread themselves onto tables, grass, sand, the tailgates of cars. These squares of material, usually filled with dainty fare and some tasty libation. The eyes seem always to be cast downward at these forays into 'getting back to Nature' meals. Folks usually concentrate on the food and drink at hand. The atmosphere can be romantic, giddy, pensive or just plain appreciative of the time, place and company. Outdoor recreational eating can be full of educational opportunities, too, especially if parents or grandparents are involved.

        When Holly and David were young 'uns, we lived about thirty-five miles north of Chicago, in Lake County. We actually lived on the shores of a little lake. Whenever I could, I'd pack a lunch and we'd head to a local park that had real train cars to play had on and in. We called it the 'choo-choo Train Park' and, before and after downing the food, we'd become conductors and engineers in our minds. We always ended up really feeling the motion of the parked engines and cabooses. How? We made it all happen in our heads. The imagination of children is totally contagious. I can see in my memory now, the eyes of my children looked straight ahead as we 'made the trains take us across the world'. I can visualize their excited faces even now.

        Somehow and in an instant, my children grew up. Empty nest syndrome really hurt and a good friend once told me that I was 'addicted to my children' and 'totally co-dependent'. That was a complete understatement, but I went with it and began living life without children.

        Enter a grandson. Who knew that life could be relived when in the presence of a new being? It was suddenly fun to be me, again. Visits to barns, hikes in Trout River, getting dirty, sharing cow experiences, coloring and picnics became a way of life again. Ah, sweet joy.

        This story's about picnics so I'll tell you how Grandpa Rick and I exposed our Shea to his first educational meal in the wild. It wasn't really wild actually. There was a Douglas DC-3 parked at the Swanton Airport. I love planes. Everything in the world of aviation thrills me and always has. The chance to expose Shea to such a great plane, up close and personal, was too much of a temptation to pass up. I packed some good food and off we went. The drive down the long airport road off route 78 was my first chance to point and say, 'LOOK, SHEA! A bi-plane. LOOK! LOOK! A homemade experimental airplane! LOOK! SEE THAT??? IT'S A DOUGLAS DC-3. A GOOD OLD FASHIONED TAIL DRAGGER!” When we had parked, the walk around took place. What a great way to work up the appetites of a tiny boy! The hunger for flight may have out scored the desire for a peanut butter and banana on whole wheat sandwich that day! Enthusiasm is contagious and an appetite grows on what it feeds.

        Before we knew it, over an hour of our airplane inspection had passed. Cesnas, Pipers, Beechcraft, experimental, twin-engine sorts, single/double/eight-passenger planes of every color had been vetted. Grandparents getting hungry, Shea wondering why we were still on the ground!
La piece de resistence was the DC-3. We spread the tablecloth, opened our lunch bag and parked our carcasses beneath her. She was blocking out the rays of a hot sun and her wings felt as protective to us as those of a mama chickens over her chicks. There was a bit of oil leaking but it only added to the definition of place for us. I can still see Shea's little face looking up at the fuselage and asking questions about that plane. Picnics are for looking up or out and pretending.

        That was a great picnic. Do my children remember the choo-choo train park in Illinois? Will Shea remember his DC-3 umbrella? I don't know. But I'll never forget either. Blessed be.

Thanks Heather ... it's always a p;easure to read your stories

1958 "Cat on a hot tin roof" - The Avenue Theatre - Montreal QC

I was 17 years old at the time, we were living on Campbell in Greenfield Park QC. My uncle Herbie was newly married, he and his wife Pat invited me to go see "Cat on a hot tin roof" at the Avenue Theatre on Greene St. in Westmount.

It was late fall or early winter. I was excited to go out with them as we were not just relatives but friends, even with the age difference. Arrangements were made for me to meet them at the front entrance at 1224 Greene St. and after the show they would drive me home.

It was a cold evening and threatening to snow as I dressed up in my favorite cords and yellow v-neck sweater. When I came into the kitchen dad said "before you go son, could you bring the car battery in". At the time my dad was driving a 1952 Pontiac Catalina. I went out with the wrench, raised the hood and removed the battery and carried it into the kitchen.

Off I went to the Avenue Theatre to meet Herbie and Pat. I was as proud as punch, in those days the Avenue was "The Theatre" in Westmount a rather upscale town. We met up and went in to watch the movie. At intermission I went out to the lobby to have a smoke. As I stood with my back against the wall I noticed that all these Westmount snobs were dressed to the nines. But what really bother me was the fact that they kept staring at me. I thought " What is wrong with me"?? "Why are they staring"? I was really becoming self-conscious and decided to go back inside and sit down.

After the movie Pat, Herbie and I were walking to the car. It was snowing lightly and I was cold. There was wind hitting my crotch area and the snow flakes were wet against my legs. I looked down and my beautiful cords were full of holes .... battery acid had eaten them away... I guess all those snobs thought I was a bum from "The Main"

Marc Martel Shows His Versatility

The following three videos are of Marc Martel and his amazing voice auditioning as Queen front man Eddie Mercury.

A must watch and Listen

Marc Martel - The "Somebody To Love" Audition Radio Interview With 101.9...

Marc Martel - Nessun Dorma [HD]

Marc Martel does Bohemian Rhapsody

Radio is a Boon to the Invalid - Northern Electric Radio

My great uncle Bob in hospital

People I Don't Know - From the Family Album

Aren't family albums fun.... there is nobody alive today that can tell me who and why these pictures were taken. What I do know is that my great grandfather was commissioned to build a project in India. Since he was an accomplished photographer I can only assume that he took some of these during his trip there.

Civil Servants in Japan VS Canada

Thanks Ivan or was it Richard.... no I think it was... oh forget it thanks folks

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Thursday's Car

Thanks Kerry

Death Stare - Baseball fan drops little girl for foul ball

We all know that look don't we guys

Todays WTF Question

We have an aging society who, for whatever reason, did not plan for their financial retirement security.

We have a large segment of the population who cannot find work.


Let's introduce a private members bill to guarentee the rights of those living in condo's to hang a Canadian flag in front of their unit.

I live in a condo. I am not allowed to hang a flag... let me rephrase that.... I am not allowed to attach a support to the exterior of the structure.

That makes sense to me since I am not responsible for exterior maintenance of any kind..... the condo corporation is.... but they don't make the rules.... the majority of condo owners do.... majority rules, at least until the Federal Government decides it only works for them and not for the general population.

So why the distraction tactic???

For the record my blood type is A - Positive
My political views are B - Negative

Over my voting lifetime I have cast votes for Blue (PC), Red and Green. I have never voted Orange or Blue (C). Why not Orange? Because they are too far off center. Why not Blue (C)? Because they are too close to American Blue (R).

First and foremost I am Canadian and damn proud of it. The Federal Blue (C)'s have learned well from their American Idols. If you tell an untruth about your opponent today and, when caught, retract it... no one will notice.

A lie travels at the speed of light
A retraction is seen by the blind

Our Federal Government is running around the World touting the stability of Canadian banks as if they had something to do with our banking system yet they were not even a political party at that time.

They brag about our banks not needing a bailout.... read about the 75 billion dollar bailout.

The following site was sent to me by a reader it makes for interesting reading and will be linked to this site for future reference. 

The Original Motorcycle Dog

A special thank you from the 3 people, from 3 remotely different locations that sent me this video...

Thank you Kerry, Richard and Margaret LOL

Colonoscopy Journal - Hilarious!

Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the  Miami Herald.
Colonoscopy Journal:     I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.
    A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . ..
Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.
   I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.   I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of  America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.
    Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. 
In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically  water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. 
You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water.
(For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons).
Then you have to drink the whole jug.. 
This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon..

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative.
I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? 
This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle.
There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.  
You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. 
You eliminate everything..  And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic.
I was very nervous. 
Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. 
I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' 
How do you apologize to a friend for something like that?
Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said.
Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. 
Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. 
Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.     At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. 
You would have no choice, but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. 
I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.. 
I was seriously nervous at this point.
    Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. 
I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said.  
And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.  
If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea.  
Really,  I slept through it..  One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.
     Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. 
I felt excellent. 
I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that IT was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors.
I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies...  
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in  Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out....'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10.. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11.. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12.. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

      And the best one of all:  
13.. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Thanks Heather C

Prayer For Grandpa

Dear God, please send clothes

for all those poor ladies on

grandpa's computer .   

Thanks Richard..... True story..... When Pat and I moved in to the house in Chateauguay my grandmother Piche - Taylor moved in with us. I had a Playboy calender hanging on the bathroom wall. One weekend Pat and I went to visit her parents in what was then West Shefford. On the Sunday night I was standing in front of the toilet... the one that had flushing problems.... and I looked over at the calender ...... my grandmother had taken a marker pen and put clothes on all the models....

When Japanese Babies are Born

Thanks Richard... that is funny

Funny Hilarious Banned Commercial

Editing is finally complete [CofCT]

To our great satisfaction the editing has finally been completed and the entire volume  'Understanding the Female' is now available....

Thanks Carolyn... I understand that this is actually volume one of several

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday's Car

Thanks Richard


He believes he can create jobs in a bad economy that his Federal puppet masters couldn't do by spending 55 billion tax dollars on their cronies.

I can tolerate a politician who lies to me.


Because he lied. He won't keep his promises.

What I cannot tolerate is a Politician who thinks I am stupid.

One that makes me promises that I know he cannot keep.

Tim Hudak thinks you and I are idiots.

Fact: you can't cut tax and provide service.

What is Timbo going to do to create jobs. Hire all the Federal employees that the Federal Government declares surplus?


Tell us your plan and please make sense for a change.

I was the first to speak out against the HST

But... think about it....

I buy a 300 dollar object ...
I pay the appropriate tax

You on the other hand are a prick of priveledge
You buy a 5000 dollar object
You pay the appropriate tax

Point of Purchase Tax is the fairest form of taxes.

 I would like to see it rise to  20% or more and income tax reduced to zero percent.

But the American Lap Dogs in the Federal Government are to cowardly.

Heron Feeding

Hi Bob
Here are a few pictures of a Heron catching
A meal of catfish. Photos were taken in the back of Melocheville, Qc
Norman M

Thanks Norman... who would think that these birds, who are so awkward looking on the ground, could be so graceful in flight.

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Bob Hill and his new wife  Betty were vacationing in it  happens, near Transylvania . They were driving  in a rental car along a rather deserted highway.  It was late and raining very hard. Bob could  barely see the road in front of the car.  Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob  attempts to control the car, but to no avail!  The car swerves and smashes into a  tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes  his head to clear the  fog. Dazed,  he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his  wife unconscious, with her head bleeding!  Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob  knows he has to get her medical  assistance.Bob carefully picks his  wife up and begins trudging down the road. After  a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards  the light, which is coming from a large, old  house.  He  approaches the door and  knocks.
A minute passes. A small,  hunched man opens the  door.
  Bob  immediately blurts,  "Hello,  my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty.  We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife  has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your  phone?"

"I'm  sorry," replied  the hunchback,  "but we  don't have a phone. My master is  a  doctor;  come in, and I will get  him!"Bob brings his wife  in.

An older man comes down  the stairs.  "I'm  afraid my assistant may have misled you.  I  am not a  medical doctor; I am a scientist.. However, it  is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have  had a basic medical training. I will see what I  can do. Igor, bring them down to the  laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up  Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob  following closely.. Igor places Betty on a table  in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and  his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an  adjoining  table.

After a brief  examination, Igor's master looks  worried.
 "Things  are serious,  Igor.  Prepare a  transfusion."Igor and  his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob  and Betty Hill are no  more.

The Hills' deaths upset  Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the  steps to his conservatory, which houses his  grand piano. For it is here that he has always  found  solace.
  He begins  to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody  fills the  house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still  in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement,  and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand  twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano  music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins  to rise, marking the  beat!
  He is  further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up  straight!

Unable to contain  himself, he dashes up the stairs to the  conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts  to his  master:

"Master,  Master!.....The  Hills are alive with the sound  of  music!"
(I am soooooo  sorry.....but you really should've seen that  one  coming!!)You might even consider  changing your e-mail address  now!!!

Thanks Penny.... I don't believe for a minute that you are sorry for sending this one

Medical info every woman should know!

Q:  Should I have a baby after 35? A:  No, 35 children is enough. 
Q  : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? 
A:  With any luck, right after he finishes college. 
Q  : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? 
A:  Childbirth. 
Q:  My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline  irrational.
A:  So what's your question? 
?:  My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but  pressure. Is she right? A:  Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air  current.? 
Q:  When is the best time to get an epidural? 
A:  Right after you find out you're pregnant. 
?:  Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in  labor? A:  Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. 
Q:  Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? 
A:  Yes, pregnancy. 
Q:  Do I have to have a baby shower? 
A:  Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. 
Q:  Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal  again? 
A:  When the kids are in college. 


1.  Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 
2. You're adding  chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 
3. The dryer has  shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 
4. Your husband is  suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 
5. You 're using  your cell phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my  driving". 
6.  Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 
7.. Everyone seems  to have just landed here from "outer space." 
9. You're sure  that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 
10. The ibuprofen  bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday. 

TOP  TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10.  Cats' facial expressions. 9.  The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 
8. Why bean  sprouts aren't just weeds. 
7. Fat  clothes. 
6.  Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 
5. The difference  between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 
4. Cutting your  hair to make it grow. 
3. Eyelash  curlers. 
2.  The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 

AND,  the Number One thing only women understand: 

Thanks Richard