"Not Quite As I Remember Them" ...

Mary had a little  pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork  went up,
She shot the little bastard.


Mary had a little  lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with  her,
Between two hunks of bread.


Jack and Jill went up  the hill
To have a little fun
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And  now they have a son.


Humpty Dumpty sat on a  wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings'  horses,
And all the kings' men
Had scrambled eggs,
For  breakfast again.


Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a  piddle,
All over the bedside clock
The little dog laughed to see  such fun
Then died of electric shock.


Georgie Porgy  pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry And when the  boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cos he was  gay.


There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right  in the middle of her forehead..
When she was good, she was very,  very good
But when she was bad......
She got a fur coat, jewels,  a waterfront condo and a sports car.

You have to be old  enough to appreciate this.
If you don't understand, it is because you are too young!

Thanks Pat