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Saturday, August 6, 2016

One Liner Laughs for Election Year


 
If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.  Jay Leno
 
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.  Henry Cate, VII
 
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.  Aesop
 
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.  Will Rogers
 
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.  Nikita Khrushchev
 
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. Clarence Darrow
 
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.  John Quinton
 
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.  Author unknown
 
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.  Oscar Ameringer
 
I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.  Adlai Stevenson, 1952
 
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.  Tex Guinan
 
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. Charles de Gaulle
 
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.  Doug Larson
 
There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on Congressmen.  Will Rogers

Thanks Maria

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