Total Pageviews

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Why I like retirement ! part 2

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied..... 

'Two years older than me' 
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.. 
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 
'And what do you think is the best thing 
about being 104?' the reporter asked... 
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is 
you can hide your own Easter eggs
and have fun finding them.

I've sure gotten old! 
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, 

new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. 
I'm half blind, 
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, 
take 40 different medications that 
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
Have bouts with dementia. 
Have poor circulation; 
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. 
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. 
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, 
I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, 
so I got my doctor's permission to 
join a fitness club and start exercising. 
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. 
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, 
by the time I
got my leotards on, 

the class was over.


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. 
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? 
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

Thanks Randy

No comments:

Post a Comment