Monday, March 31, 2014
These Conservatives are a total joke
Jason Kenney's contradictory Twitter tirade over Kijiji jobs data
Jason Kenney is getting super defensive.
After news broke this week that the Conservatives' erroneous claim about job vacancies in Canada can be chalked up to job ads posted on the online classified site Kijiji, the Employment Minister has been on a one man mission to try to salvage what little remains of his government's economic credibility.
It's not surprising Kenney is walking on eggshells.
The Kijiji data shoots a big, gaping hole in the government's jobs report released alongside the federal budget last month. It said Canada's job vacancy rate has been "increasingly steadily since 2009."
Actually, no it hasn't, according to the Parliamentary Budget Office. (And Statistics Canada.)
PBO officials told the Globe and Mail that Kijiji is "so unreliable as a job site that it can single-handedly explain away the government’s claims. With the simple removal of that one site from the search, the steep rise Ottawa flagged becomes much closer to a flat line."
Things reached a climax Thursday when Kenney took to Twitter to defend his government's credibility and lash out at critics. During his frantic 21-tweet tirade, Kenney explained that he has never cited Kijiji or online job postings as a reliable source of employment data:
Read more: http://www.pressprogress.ca/en/post/jason-kenney-defends-kijiji-21st-century-source-jobs-data
Jason Kenney is getting super defensive.
After news broke this week that the Conservatives' erroneous claim about job vacancies in Canada can be chalked up to job ads posted on the online classified site Kijiji, the Employment Minister has been on a one man mission to try to salvage what little remains of his government's economic credibility.
It's not surprising Kenney is walking on eggshells.
The Kijiji data shoots a big, gaping hole in the government's jobs report released alongside the federal budget last month. It said Canada's job vacancy rate has been "increasingly steadily since 2009."
Actually, no it hasn't, according to the Parliamentary Budget Office. (And Statistics Canada.)
PBO officials told the Globe and Mail that Kijiji is "so unreliable as a job site that it can single-handedly explain away the government’s claims. With the simple removal of that one site from the search, the steep rise Ottawa flagged becomes much closer to a flat line."
Things reached a climax Thursday when Kenney took to Twitter to defend his government's credibility and lash out at critics. During his frantic 21-tweet tirade, Kenney explained that he has never cited Kijiji or online job postings as a reliable source of employment data:
Read more: http://www.pressprogress.ca/en/post/jason-kenney-defends-kijiji-21st-century-source-jobs-data
Fools on the Hill
Andrew Coyne: Fair Elections Act proof the Conservatives are no normal government
Another GREAT PIECE by Coyne!!!
Andrew Coyne: Fair Elections Act proof the Conservatives are no normal government.
"In normal times, under a normal government, the Fair Elections Act would have been withdrawn by now, or at least be in serious trouble. The past few weeks have seen the bill denounced as a threat to democracy by the chief electoral officer, the former chief electoral officer, several provincial elections officials, academic experts domestic and foreign, and news...paper editorials across the country.
Andrew Coyne: Fair Elections Act proof the Conservatives are no normal government.
"In normal times, under a normal government, the Fair Elections Act would have been withdrawn by now, or at least be in serious trouble. The past few weeks have seen the bill denounced as a threat to democracy by the chief electoral officer, the former chief electoral officer, several provincial elections officials, academic experts domestic and foreign, and news...paper editorials across the country.
But this is not a normal government. It does not operate in the usual way, nor does it feel bound by the usual rules. After all, if this were a normal government, it would not have as its minister for democratic reform such a noxious partisan as Mr. Poilievre, whose contempt for Parliament and its traditions registers every time he rises to speak in it."
http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2014/03/28/andrew-coyne-fair-elections-act-proof-the-conservatives-are-no-normal-government/
http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2014/03/28/andrew-coyne-fair-elections-act-proof-the-conservatives-are-no-normal-government/
Shifting the tax burden
Canada's Tax Burden Shifting From Corporations Onto People: Economist
For the first time in Canadian history, more than half of the federal government’s revenue in 2014 will come from personal income taxes -- a vivid sign that Canada’s tax burden is slowly shifting away from corporations and onto consumers.
It’s the apparent result of successive Liberal and Conservative governments that have cut corporate taxes far more aggressively than they have cut personal income taxes, while increasing “hidden taxes” that mostly impact low-income and middle-income workers.
The federal corporate tax rate has been nearly cut in half since 2000 -- from 28 per cent at the turn of the century to 15 per cent in 2012. The Harper government boasts that this will give Canadian corporations the lowest tax rate on new investment of any G7 country.
Personal income taxes, on the other hand, have remained at more or less steady levels through this time. The lowest tax bracket, which now applies on incomes below $42,706, has fallen slightly to 15 per cent today from 17 per cent in 2000. The top marginal tax rate has stayed the same, at 29 per cent.
Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/11/24/corporate-personal-taxes-canada_n_4333694.html
For the first time in Canadian history, more than half of the federal government’s revenue in 2014 will come from personal income taxes -- a vivid sign that Canada’s tax burden is slowly shifting away from corporations and onto consumers.
It’s the apparent result of successive Liberal and Conservative governments that have cut corporate taxes far more aggressively than they have cut personal income taxes, while increasing “hidden taxes” that mostly impact low-income and middle-income workers.
The federal corporate tax rate has been nearly cut in half since 2000 -- from 28 per cent at the turn of the century to 15 per cent in 2012. The Harper government boasts that this will give Canadian corporations the lowest tax rate on new investment of any G7 country.
Personal income taxes, on the other hand, have remained at more or less steady levels through this time. The lowest tax bracket, which now applies on incomes below $42,706, has fallen slightly to 15 per cent today from 17 per cent in 2000. The top marginal tax rate has stayed the same, at 29 per cent.
Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/11/24/corporate-personal-taxes-canada_n_4333694.html
Is Harper like Putin ??
Don Martin, Power Play Published Friday, March 28, 2014 4:25PM EDT
Last Updated Friday, March 28, 2014 6:16PM EDT
Last Updated Friday, March 28, 2014 6:16PM EDT
Our Prime Minister has spent the last week on a referendum-ripping tour of Europe. Stephen Harper has denounced the Crimean annexation and threatened more sanctions while vilifying Russian aggressor and President Vladimir Putin.
Good for him. Applause all 'round in the chronically hostile House of Commons. Even the polls are starting to thaw on Mr. Harper’s frozen flatlined position trailing the Liberals.
But there has to be conscious uncoupling going down as the same Stephen Harper moves to unilaterally change Canada’s democratically-sacred election laws to solidify his grip on voting in this country.
You can’t claim the high ground on global democracy if you're fiddling with voting regulations to help maintain power in your own back yard.
At first blush, the Fair Elections Act seemed a well-intentioned bid to clean up dirt in the ballot box. Even the country’s longest serving chief electoral officer told me it rated an A-minus grade.
But as with most Harper government megabills, the small details are devilish. It takes time to digest the truth and the consequences of so many weasel words.
So as the weeks pass since Minister of State Pierre Poilievre rolled out his bill, the backlash has grown from a sputter to a howl and gone from national to global.
"So what?" you may well say. Afghan detainee documents, Senate scandals and the death of the long-form census were all supposed to put this government on life support and didn’t.
But this bill is particularly squeamish. As a change which affects all parties equally, reaching out for consultation if not consensus is essential. Yet all amendments have been rejected, debate has been limited and all dissent dissed as wilful ignorance.
The groin kicker came yesterday when the author of an electoral reform report appeared before MPs to attack the government’s use of his findings. Harry Neufeld accused Minister Poilievre of declining to consult with him before selectively using quotes out of context to justify a bill customized for partisan gain.
In other words, he accused the minister of tainting evidence to craft laws to tilt future elections in the Conservative’s favor.
Protest deafness? Twisted evidence? Voter manipulation? Designed to help a leader retain power?
If you listen closely, that’s democracy with a Russian dialect.
Good for him. Applause all 'round in the chronically hostile House of Commons. Even the polls are starting to thaw on Mr. Harper’s frozen flatlined position trailing the Liberals.
But there has to be conscious uncoupling going down as the same Stephen Harper moves to unilaterally change Canada’s democratically-sacred election laws to solidify his grip on voting in this country.
You can’t claim the high ground on global democracy if you're fiddling with voting regulations to help maintain power in your own back yard.
At first blush, the Fair Elections Act seemed a well-intentioned bid to clean up dirt in the ballot box. Even the country’s longest serving chief electoral officer told me it rated an A-minus grade.
But as with most Harper government megabills, the small details are devilish. It takes time to digest the truth and the consequences of so many weasel words.
So as the weeks pass since Minister of State Pierre Poilievre rolled out his bill, the backlash has grown from a sputter to a howl and gone from national to global.
"So what?" you may well say. Afghan detainee documents, Senate scandals and the death of the long-form census were all supposed to put this government on life support and didn’t.
But this bill is particularly squeamish. As a change which affects all parties equally, reaching out for consultation if not consensus is essential. Yet all amendments have been rejected, debate has been limited and all dissent dissed as wilful ignorance.
The groin kicker came yesterday when the author of an electoral reform report appeared before MPs to attack the government’s use of his findings. Harry Neufeld accused Minister Poilievre of declining to consult with him before selectively using quotes out of context to justify a bill customized for partisan gain.
In other words, he accused the minister of tainting evidence to craft laws to tilt future elections in the Conservative’s favor.
Protest deafness? Twisted evidence? Voter manipulation? Designed to help a leader retain power?
If you listen closely, that’s democracy with a Russian dialect.
Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/ctv-news-channel/power-play-with-don-martin/don-martin-s-last-word-is-there-some-conscious-uncoupling-going-on-with-election-laws-1.1751027/comments-7.499879#ixzz2xRdoSjaI
Thanks Joe Y
new original song "QUEEN PAULINE"
With The Québec election fast approaching, it is a very timely and appropriate song.
Attached, you will find a new original song of mine called "QUEEN PAULINE".
Please share this with as many people as you can. If you have friends in the media, please
feel free to forward it to them as well. The Montreal Gazette's"AISLIN" (Terry Mosher) was the
first to hear it and he said it was "very good!". I hope that you will enjoy listening to it as much
as I had fun writing it. I look forward to hearing your comments.
Pierre Chalifoux
QUEEN PAULINE
music & lyrics by Pierre Chalifoux 2014 c
Queen Pauline don’t lead your sheep to the slaughter
‘Cause once you do, it can’t become undone
Instead just try to keep their heads above water
‘Cause they’ll find drowning won’t be any fun
Your economy is in the tank
But they’ll still have you to spank
Rearranging deckchairs on your New Titanic
Misdirection with your Charter
When in fact you might be smarter
To treat them to a healthy dose of panic
Queen Pauline don’t lead your sheep to the slaughter
‘Cause once you do, it can’t become undone
If you take them while they sleep, your sons and daughters
May wake up to a very different sun
You want to build your “Poutine Nation”
Based on your hallucinations
Reality could bring you to your knees
One week, Pasta’s on your face
Another scandalous disgrace
Your on-going case of foot-in-mouth disease
Queen Pauline don’t let your Brown Shirts probe our babies
Measuring letters and apostrophes
Infecting us with strains of racial rabies
Your xenophobic ideology
You’re fiddling Nero’s violin
Yet you can’t see the mess you’re in
While becoming everybody’s fool
You go for “Blokes” then go for broke
On the world stage, you’re a joke
Still you sit and sink in your own stool
The feeble ideology
That still fuels your strategy
Sends people packing down the 401
Resurrecting René’s ghost
Like Lucien, Bernie, Jacques, you’re toast!
Another relic of Bill 101
Queen Pauline don’t lead your sheep to the slaughter
Your lemmings march in lockstep to a fall
And when they do, don’t weep, please just don’t bother
Remember that this will have been your call
(Neverendum Referendums)
Just like Marie-Antoinette
Who lost her head playing “cake roulette”
You pray your ilk will unify
By feeding them pie in the sky
Your Banana Republicans
Basking in “New Cuba”’s fun
Will find that it’s too late to run
When all is said and done
Take “Le Québec Libre” de Charles De Gaulle
Flush it down your half-million dollar toilet bowl
PQ, SQ, CAQ, no more FLQ
SAAQ, FTQ, how about FU2
Queen Pauline you lack in substance and in style
Once and for all, just get off our backs
To the likes of you, we’ll never “Zieg Heil”
“Ostie d’calice de crisse de tabarnac”
In your “De-Stink ” society
Your “Pure-Laine” minority
Should simply just try googling “Germany”
Look up other sinking ships
As with most dictatorships
There are different shades of tyranny
You send your kids to private schools
Unlike the plebian mass you rule
You’re superior to the folks to which you pander
Unclear on how you really plan
To govern your “Kébekistan”
Why don’t you just simply write Ann Landers
Money and the Ethnic Vote
“Les Maudits Anglais” got your goat
Pulling the wool off of your sheep’s eyes
Instead you should attack “le Joual”
Québec’s real “Langue Officiale”
And send in the OLF’s Nazi spies
Queen Pauline we should just put you out to pasture
Banging pots and pans with your devout
Someday in Maroisland, there may be Rapture
Canada will simply vote you out
(So Goodbye!)
Even if you beg, plead, scream and cry
Stop whining, promise to behave and try
We’ll never ever really will see eye to eye
Our answer still will be goodbye
And much to your chagrin
We won’t let you back in
Thanks Ralph
Out with the rubbish
Read more: http://cbc.sh/WFzQXNT
Great timeless truths
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government. John Adams
If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of government. But then I repeat myself. Mark Twain
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
Winston Churchill
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw
Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
P.J. O'Rourke
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. Voltaire (1764)
Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! Pericles (430 B.C.)
No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
Mark Twain (1866)
Talk is cheap...except when government does it.
Anonymous
The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
Ronald Reagan
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain
There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save government.
Mark Twain
What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
Thomas Jefferson
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Aesop
Thanks Randy
If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of government. But then I repeat myself. Mark Twain
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
Winston Churchill
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw
Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
P.J. O'Rourke
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. Voltaire (1764)
Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! Pericles (430 B.C.)
No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
Mark Twain (1866)
Talk is cheap...except when government does it.
Anonymous
The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
Ronald Reagan
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain
There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save government.
Mark Twain
What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
Thomas Jefferson
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Aesop
Thanks Randy
Joke of the Week
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.
Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery happened to be walking by in the gallery and realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society. 'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'.
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'
Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery, asked the couple?
'Because I am the artist, who painted the picture,' he replied. 'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners.
The guy in the middle went home for lunch. "
Thanks Randy
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Letter to the CPC
My response to a request for a donation from the CPC.....
Mr. Walsh,
Thank you for your recent email requesting a donation to the Conservative Party of Canada. I have put great deal of time and thought into this request and would hope you might consider the following:
...
Mr. Walsh,
Thank you for your recent email requesting a donation to the Conservative Party of Canada. I have put great deal of time and thought into this request and would hope you might consider the following:
...
I proudly served for 30 years in the Canadian Forces and would have stayed longer had I not been medically released due to a severe injury. As a result of that "Service Related Injury" I am now unable to find and maintain gainful employment. My health is deteriorating yet the cost of health care is rising along with everything else except my meagre pension, unlike the pensions of those you represent.
You must know Veterans Affairs has cut benefits, closed offices and has a Minister that is unable to define what a Veteran is, yet travels extensively for photo ops while he looks down his nose at us and fails to remember that Canada liberated his home. All this while brave young men and women are returning from a 12 year war, yes a real "war" during which over 40,000 military members served with honour and distinguished themselves among our allies. Many have come home after fulfilling their "Sacred Obligation" to their country only to find their own government has hired lawyers to prove their country, Canada, feels they have no obligation to them. Shameful, if not disgusting to say the least.
Our proud military, whom I support fully and is in fact the very reason you are able to live in a free, democratic society is once again suffering from "death by a thousand cuts". Sadly there are more cuts coming while the promises of new equipment and support never even came to fruition due to mismanagement, political infighting, lack of experience or knowledge of the true needs of the military. Your party has failed miserably in the procurement field yet how many have lost their jobs due to incompetence. More importantly...how many more of our serving military members will lose their lives as a result of being ill equipped. I will not go into detail but how many Members of Parliament would be willing to send their sons and daughters into a modern field of battle flying 50+ year old aircraft? This is reality, not a political chess game where our youth, willing to serve, are pawns. Shame.
In light of this Mr. Walsh would you kindly suggest how much you would like me to donate to your party?
And, as you have taken the time to email me asking for a donation to support your cause I'm confident you will contact me to further discuss not only my concerns, but the concerns and anger of thousands upon thousands of Canadians who have served and/or support those who have bravely answered the "Call to the Flag", often referred to as patriotism.
I do look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
WO John D. Ely, CD (Ret'd)
You must know Veterans Affairs has cut benefits, closed offices and has a Minister that is unable to define what a Veteran is, yet travels extensively for photo ops while he looks down his nose at us and fails to remember that Canada liberated his home. All this while brave young men and women are returning from a 12 year war, yes a real "war" during which over 40,000 military members served with honour and distinguished themselves among our allies. Many have come home after fulfilling their "Sacred Obligation" to their country only to find their own government has hired lawyers to prove their country, Canada, feels they have no obligation to them. Shameful, if not disgusting to say the least.
Our proud military, whom I support fully and is in fact the very reason you are able to live in a free, democratic society is once again suffering from "death by a thousand cuts". Sadly there are more cuts coming while the promises of new equipment and support never even came to fruition due to mismanagement, political infighting, lack of experience or knowledge of the true needs of the military. Your party has failed miserably in the procurement field yet how many have lost their jobs due to incompetence. More importantly...how many more of our serving military members will lose their lives as a result of being ill equipped. I will not go into detail but how many Members of Parliament would be willing to send their sons and daughters into a modern field of battle flying 50+ year old aircraft? This is reality, not a political chess game where our youth, willing to serve, are pawns. Shame.
In light of this Mr. Walsh would you kindly suggest how much you would like me to donate to your party?
And, as you have taken the time to email me asking for a donation to support your cause I'm confident you will contact me to further discuss not only my concerns, but the concerns and anger of thousands upon thousands of Canadians who have served and/or support those who have bravely answered the "Call to the Flag", often referred to as patriotism.
I do look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
WO John D. Ely, CD (Ret'd)
BREAKING NEWS
Read more: http://cbc.sh/WFzQXNT
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Why are the Conservatives still sitting on this file????
OTTAWA -- A new report in Washington is predicting more delays and possibly higher costs for the troubled F-35 jet fighter program.
The U.S. Government Accountability Office, in a study released Monday, sounded the alarm about software development for the high-tech, radar-evading jet fighter.
The budget watchdog warned American law-makers that the separate computer programs that verify the aircraft's "basic operation" and "warfighting" capabilities, such as the firing of missiles and the dropping of bombs, could be delayed by 13 months.
Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/new-u-s-report-warns-of-more-delays-and-affordability-issues-with-f-35-jet-1.1744005#ixzz2xCN9LhMz
In my not so humble opinion these assholes are hoping that Canadians will forget about how they were lied to by their government and deceived about the true cost.....
In Canada, the Harper government has yet to say whether it will stick with the F-35 program -- or launch a full-blown competition to replace the country's aging fleet of CF-18s.
The plan to buy 65 of the ultra-modern jets was put on hold after an auditor general's report, almost two years ago, accused both National Defence and Public Works of failing to do their homework and low-balling the enormous lifetime cost.
Subsequent independent reviews have said it would cost Canadian taxpayers up to $44 billion over 40 years to buy, maintain and operate a modest fleet of F-35s -- much more than the $16-billion price tag the Harper government initially floated.
The government has yet to buy any aircraft.
They have full intensions of going ahead with this albatross .... cost be damned.... the taxpayer has deep pockets
The U.S. Government Accountability Office, in a study released Monday, sounded the alarm about software development for the high-tech, radar-evading jet fighter.
The budget watchdog warned American law-makers that the separate computer programs that verify the aircraft's "basic operation" and "warfighting" capabilities, such as the firing of missiles and the dropping of bombs, could be delayed by 13 months.
Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/new-u-s-report-warns-of-more-delays-and-affordability-issues-with-f-35-jet-1.1744005#ixzz2xCN9LhMz
In my not so humble opinion these assholes are hoping that Canadians will forget about how they were lied to by their government and deceived about the true cost.....
In Canada, the Harper government has yet to say whether it will stick with the F-35 program -- or launch a full-blown competition to replace the country's aging fleet of CF-18s.
The plan to buy 65 of the ultra-modern jets was put on hold after an auditor general's report, almost two years ago, accused both National Defence and Public Works of failing to do their homework and low-balling the enormous lifetime cost.
Subsequent independent reviews have said it would cost Canadian taxpayers up to $44 billion over 40 years to buy, maintain and operate a modest fleet of F-35s -- much more than the $16-billion price tag the Harper government initially floated.
The government has yet to buy any aircraft.
They have full intensions of going ahead with this albatross .... cost be damned.... the taxpayer has deep pockets
Joke
State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main
highway.At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers'lane, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefullyapproaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees ayoung man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat,filing her fingernails.Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walksto the car and gently raps on the driver's window.The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer'?The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?'The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading amagazine.'Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat thetrooper says: 'And, her, what is she doing?'The young man shrugs: 'Sir , I believe she's filing herfingernails.'Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple,alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane and nothingobscene is happening!The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?'The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'The trooper asks: 'And her, what's her age?'The young man looks at his watch and replies:'She'll be 18 in 11 minutes.'
Thanks Kerry
Heteronyms
Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning.
A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.
You think English is easy??
I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT!
You think English is easy??
I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT!
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture..
4) We must polish the Polish furniture..
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Thanks Ralph
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values..
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
_____________________________________
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
_____________________________________
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
_____________________________________
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
_____________________________________
An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old woman says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
_____________________________________
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
_____________________________________
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
_____________________________________
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
'How was he killed?' asked one detective..
'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.
'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'
'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'
_____________________________________
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah, until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
_____________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
_____________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
_____________________________________
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'
Thanks Randy
Friday, March 28, 2014
Why do I insist on posting all things political?
First and foremost I am a loyal Canadian and I truly believe that the Harper regime is destroying the Canadian infrastructure that has, for over half a century now, helped to support and build the middle class.More than that, we Canadians have always believed in giving those less fortunate a hand up. Yes there are those who whine and complain about their taxes going to those who do not carry their own weight and don't want to work however these whiners know, and will readily admit, that they are speaking of a minority.
No they don't begrudge the less fortunate the assistance they receive, just the lazy. Of course they have never met these abusers but have heard of them in the media or from other whiners.
That being said I also post emails and jokes from friends and readers.
The advantage to my posting non political items is that it widens my readership when one or another posting goes somewhat viral.
That my friends is the reason for the header..... it is the first thing that a reader will see when logging on the site whether they are regular readers, occasional or show up as a result of someone sending them a joke from the blog.
Following is the hits in the past month.....
| Entry | Pageviews |
|---|---|
United States
|
9246
|
Canada
|
2557
|
United Kingdom
|
968
|
Germany
|
745
|
Russia
|
399
|
China
|
320
|
Sweden
|
248
|
France
|
233
|
Australia
|
173
|
India
|
133
|
What this means, in my opinion, is that the World is able to see the discontent many Canadians have for this anti-democratic government of Stephen Harpers. But better yet I often have hits from the House of Commons and various departments within the federal government.
Canadians are fed up with your lies, your hateful ads, your wasteful spending on self promotion but most of all we are fed up with your corrupt politics and your cheating election practices.
So to Stephen Harper and the fake Conservatives I say "quit while you can because we, the true Canadians, are hell bent on throwing you and your cronies under the bus.
Finally someone speaks up for seniors
TORONTO -- Prime Minister Stephen Harper's antipathy to pension reform that would help middle-class Canadians is somewhere between "offensive and inexplicable," Ontario's premier said Saturday as she girds for a possible spring election.
"Now this statement may be true on a number of fronts, but on this one in particular: I'm impatient with Stephen Harper," Liberal Premier Kathleen Wynne said amid roaring cheers at the party's annual general meeting in Toronto.
Harper's "willful and ideological indifference to the retirement income crisis" is hitting Ontario and the rest of the country hard, she said.
Read more: http://www.cp24.com/news/harper-should-get-out-of-the-way-on-efforts-to-reform-pensions-wynne-1.1740970#ixzz2wmrO28rU
"It's somewhere between offensive and inexplicable to ask that people who've worked hard all their lives to be rewarded with a retirement that takes them out of the middle class," Wynne said.
"Now this statement may be true on a number of fronts, but on this one in particular: I'm impatient with Stephen Harper," Liberal Premier Kathleen Wynne said amid roaring cheers at the party's annual general meeting in Toronto.
Harper's "willful and ideological indifference to the retirement income crisis" is hitting Ontario and the rest of the country hard, she said.
Read more: http://www.cp24.com/news/harper-should-get-out-of-the-way-on-efforts-to-reform-pensions-wynne-1.1740970#ixzz2wmrO28rU
"It's somewhere between offensive and inexplicable to ask that people who've worked hard all their lives to be rewarded with a retirement that takes them out of the middle class," Wynne said.
Maclean interview on SCC decision
Supreme Court of Canada rejects Harper appointment
“It is an instant landmark ruling, a classic ruling,” says a law professor of the decision’s broad implications
Jordan Press @jordan_press 7m
For those wondering, Nadon received a salary from moment he was appointed. SCC salary kicked in Oct. 3 until today. 1/2
Jordan Press @jordan_press 5m
Rough estimate: Nadon received $146K. (Annual salary = $351,700/12 months=$29K/mo.; $29K x 5 months = $146,541,67) 2/2
“It is an instant landmark ruling, a classic ruling,” says a law professor of the decision’s broad implications
Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s controversial bid to appoint Marc Nadon, a semi-retired Federal Court of Appeal judge, to the Supreme Court of Canada was rejected this morning by the court itself. But, more than that, the court used the ruling to set down strict new constitutional rules for how any government could change the court in the future.
University of Ottawa law professor Adam Dodek, an expert on the Chief Justice Beverley McLachlin’s court and author of The Canadian Constitution, watched the Nadon case closely. He spoke with me this morning about the decision and its broad implications.
Read more: http://www.macleans.ca/politics/ottawa/q-a-supreme-court-of-canadas-rejects-a-harper-appointment/
My point of view:
All Canadians regardless of their political allegiance
should be offended by the CPC’s response to the SCOC rejection of Nadon as a judge
for the Supreme Court.
In their response the Harper government states in part “We
are genuinely surprised….”.
First of all the word “genuinely” denotes some form of
sincerity… This government is neither “genuine” nor “sincere”.
They go on to say that the three (3) scholars and lawyers
that they sought advice from found no problem with the appointment.
Seriously?
If they were truly being genuine in their
response and if they had sought, and received advice telling them the
appointment was valid then why……. WHY did they introduce a law, concealed in an
omnibus bill that was an attempt to override the Canadian Constitution?
Ask yourself Canada where is the genuineness in the actions
of the Harper government????
And for your information your tax dollars were not only spent and wasted on this debacle but Nadon was paid as an SCOC judge during the Harper failure to succeed...
Jordan Press @jordan_press 7m
For those wondering, Nadon received a salary from moment he was appointed. SCC salary kicked in Oct. 3 until today. 1/2
Jordan Press @jordan_press 5m
Rough estimate: Nadon received $146K. (Annual salary = $351,700/12 months=$29K/mo.; $29K x 5 months = $146,541,67) 2/2
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