REPAIRING HEARTS

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."
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GETTING OLDER
  A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition, because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
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An older gentleman was on the operating table, awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son, just do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me,
your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."
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Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."---------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
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One of the many things  no one tells you about aging, is that it is such a nice change from being young.~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
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Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart, when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention
to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence, I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her, what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes,  and is wearing a mini skirt."
"What does your wife look like?", to which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
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Thanks Shirley