Lovemaking Tips For Seniors :)

1.  Wear your glasses to make sure your  partner  is  actually in the bed.

2.  Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze  off in  the middle.

3.  Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL  OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial  before  you begin.

5.  Write partner's name on your hand in case  you  can't remember.

6.  Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under  the bed.

7.  Have Tylenol ready in case you actually  complete the act.

8.  Make all the noise you want... the neighbors  are  deaf, too.

9.  If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10.  Don't even think about trying it  twice . . . . . .  . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . .  . 

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and  you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your  face.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor  instead of by the police .
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..
'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the  bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You're not sure if these are facts or  jokes.

(I sent this in large type so you can read it)

 

Thanks Kerry