Tuesday's Vehicle

A Real Perspective!

This might make you feel
even more insignificant than you usually feel…*** (Or, how fortunate you
were to be born in this galaxy!)

> https://www.youtube.com/embed/XE0aAZE0kp4?feature=player_embedded****

Thanks Sue Fran

Azulejos Trick

Somebody...ANYBODY...want to explain this!!!

Not much sound, but a lot to watch.

http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=40360

 

Thanks Norman

Amazing photography.

The hummingbird doing rolls while chasing a bug is incredible !!!

Be sure to watch closely (around 2 min 40 sec) and check out the baby bat under its mother. Unreal.

Some of the finest photography you will ever see.

CLICK HERE:

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/xHkq1edcbk4?rel=0

 

Thanks Hiedi

Contemporary philosophers

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.

~ John Glenn

*****

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.

~ Desmond Tutu

*****

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

~ David Letterman

*****

I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire.

~ Howard Hughes

*****

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.

~ Italian proverb

*****

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

~ Betsy Salkind

*****

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

~ Jean Kerr

*****

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

*****

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

~ Jeff Foxworthy

*****

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

~ Prince Philip

*****

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

~ Emo Philips.

*****

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.

~ Harrison Ford

*****

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree.

~ Spike Milligan

*****

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.

~ Robin Hall

*****

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.

~ Jean Rostand.

*****

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.

*****

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.

~ WH Auden

*****

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.

~ Jonathan Katz

*****

If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.

~ Johnny Carson

*****

I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.

~ Arthur C. Clarke

*****

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.

~ Steve Martin

*****

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

~ Jimmy Durante

*****

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.

~ Doug Hamwell

*****

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

~ George Roberts

*****

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.

~ Jonathan Winters

*****

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

~ Robert Benchley

 

Thanks Randy

A Jewish man was sitting in Starbucks.

A Jewish man was sitting in Starbucks, having his morning coffee and reading an Arab newspaper.
A friend of his, who happened to be in the same store, noticed
this strange phenomenon.

Very upset, he approached him and said: 'Moshe, have you lost
your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?'
Moshe replied, 'I used to read the Jewish newspapers, but what
did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews
disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living
in poverty. I got so depressed!

So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find?
Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all
rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news are so much better!"

Thanks Heidi

 

Monday's Vehicle

Pauline is my shepherd

PAULINE IS MY SHEPHERD I SHALL NOT WANT
 SHE LEADETH ME BESIDE STILL FACTORIES AND ABANDONED FARMS
 SHE RESTORETH MY DOUBT ABOUT THE PARTI QUEBECOIS
 SHE ANNOINTED MY WAGES WITH TAXES AND INFLATION
 SO MY EXPENSES RUNNETH OVER MY INCOME
 SURELY POVERTY AND HARD LIVING SHALL FOLLOW PQ AND 
I SHALL WORK ON A RENTED FARM AND LIVE IN A RENTED HOUSE FOREVER

 FIVE THOUSAND YEARS AGO MOSES SAID: PACK UP YOUR CAMEL, 
PICK UP YOUR SHOVEL, MOVE YOUR ASS, AND I WILL LEAD YOU TO THE PROMISED LAND
 FIVE THOUSAND YEARS LATER PAULINE SAID: LAY DOWN YOUR SHOVEL, 
SIT ON YOUR ASS, LIGHT UP A CAMEL - THIS IS THE PROMISED LAND
 THIS YEAR PAULINE WILL TAKE YOUR SHOVEL, SELL YOUR CAMEL, 
KICK YOUR ASS AND TELL YOU SHE GAVE AWAY THE PROMISED LAND

 I'M GLAD I'M A CANADIAN, I'M GLAD I'M FREE
 I WISH I WERE A DOG AND PAULINE WAS A TREE

Thanks Richard

Saturday's Vehicle - Mercury - Buy me a Mercury - Alan Jackson

Greenfield Park Corner

Marketing success !

The scientists have gone to a lot of trouble to work this one out.

How to stop Jewish wives from smoking? 

Thanks Heidi

Buying A Bathing Suit

LADIES,

U gotta read this----It is HILARIOUS!!!

Subject: Buying A Bathing Suit

THIS MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD.. BUYING A BATHING SUIT IS JUST LIKE THIS, SAD BUT TRUE

When I was a child in the 1950's, the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift, and they did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.

The mature woman has a choice: she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus that escaped from Disney's Fantasia, or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you would be protected from shark attacks. Any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place I gasped in horror, my boobs had disappeared!

Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is now meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides. I looked like a lump of Playdoh wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, "Oh, there you are," she said, admiring the bathing suit.

I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two-piece that gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in aserviette ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard-skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a black number with a midriff fringe and looked like a jellyfish in mourning.


I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fit, it was a two-piece affair with a shorts-style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured.

When I got it home, I found a label that read, "Material might become transparent in water."

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too, I'll be the one in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt!

You'd better be laughing or rolling on the floor by this time. Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain, with or without a stylish bathing suit! 
You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future
Today someone asked me if I liked you.
I laughed, and I said, "Ha! That's funny!! ILOVE that chick!!She's funny, caring,crazy as heck, sweet,beautiful,she's reading this email & I love her!!"

Send this to five ladies you love!!
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says ~~ "Oh Crap, She's up!"

Thanks Heidi 

Sign on the door

My friend used to work at the law firm of

Dewey, Cheetam & Howe.

I asked him how he liked the new firm

and he sent me a picture of the front door

Thanks Ed

New Canadian Alphabet

The new Canadian Alphabet:-

 ABCDEFGHIJKLM?NO PQ?RSTUVWXYZ

Thanks Randy

Friday's Vehicle - Little Deuce Coupe - The Beach Boys

I'm having a really bad week

I am really disappointed in this weeks blog and can't blame anyone but myself. I have failed to annoy National Defense, no one from the House of Commons has visited the site and I haven't found Ken Morgan of Robocall fame.

You know what this means, don't you? My commentary is falling on blind eyes, my jokes (yours) are not funny and Elections Canada has gone over to the dark side.

Boring.....

Oh Well.... There's always next week.....

Hang on... Harper met with Trinidad and Tobago today .... hey maybe we can talk about the wacky tabbacy trade.....

Oh my gawd .... so much stupidity on Parliament Hill.... so little blog space

This is a tricky question to consider: Just how soon should we jump into action ahead of a terror plot? Should we be ready to move against a suspect before we hold irrefutable proof that a plot even exists?

Or should we consider acting early enough to stop would-be suspects from considering those plans at all?

Canada’s government seems to have the answer. Yes, be ready to act the moment we have a sneaking suspicion. No, don’t bother trying to understand what would lead someone to consider an act of terror in the first place.

One day after passing a bill that will give law enforcement agencies the right to detain people suspected of terrorist connections, Prime Minister Stephen Harper again shot down idea of considering the matter on a wider scale.

Harper said the recent string of terrorist events did not make it time to “commit sociology.” That is a quote-worthy way of saying, “don’t start looking for the ‘root causes’ that lead to terrorism.”

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/dailybrew/harper-turns-sociology-dirty-word-passing-anti-terrorism-184030406.html

Joe Oliver is an idiot..... the World knows it but Stephen Harper is not smart enough to realize it.

David Schindler, a internationally acclaimed scientist, from the University of Alberta says Oliver's comments about Hansen are out of line.

"Jim Hansen is well respected in the science community. He has received the Blue Planet Prize, one of the world's top awards for science. Oliver is foolish to be making the sort of remarks that he is, the Americans he is dealing with are not stupid enough to discount Hansen," he told Yahoo! Canada News in an email exchange.

"By acting like this, he is actually jeopardizing Keystone, not promoting it, and making Canada look like a country full of jerks."

Schindler — who in 2004 became an Officer of the Order of Canada — also questions Oliver's stance about the science.

"The numbers on carbon increase, and the role of the oil sands in preventing Canada from reaching any reasonable international agreement on controlling greenhouse gases speak for themselves. For example, Canada, the US and Australia all emit about 21 tonnes of CO2 per year. Thanks to the oil sands, Albertans emit 70," he said.

"No one is fooled by the focus on cuts per barrel, while the barrels of output are rising so rapidly that they overwhelm any gains made per barrel. And then there is air pollution, water pollution, water use, human rights issues with the people of Treaty 8, escalating costs caused by uncontrolled development, the issue of increasing tailing ponds. It is not only about greenhouse gases.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/canada-politics/joe-oliver-making-canada-look-country-full-jerks-160842779.html

Well .... next week sure looks promising

Stephen Harper is way off base on this opinion

Prime Minister Stephen Harper says there's nothing wrong with using taxpayers' dollars to finance a bulk-mail campaign against Justin Trudeau.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/nothing-wrong-conservative-bulk-mail-campaign-against-trudeau-224002473.html

There is everything wrong with using taxpayer dollars to send BASTARDLY lies in the mail to taxpayers who do not agree with your political views or are not card carrying C.R.A.P members.

A taxpayer who supports the NDP, Liberal, Green or the Bloc Party should not have his/her tax dollar going to Harper's slanderous attack ad's. Election Canada must put their foot down since it was this Prime Minister who ceased the election supplement that each party received  for obtaining a certain number of votes during an election.

Let us not forget that the supplement or rebate was instituted so that the various parties would  have funding based on their popularity with the voter and not based on corporate donations thus putting all parties in a more balanced position. That supplement amounted to 2.00 dollars per vote. It was a minimal burden to the taxpayer and ensured a more honest approach to politics than is exhibited here by Stephen Harper and his Conservatives.

BBC TV COMMERCIAL ....ENJOY

Every night and day we sit and moan about the rubbish being passed off  as commercials that we are forced to watch by our commercial networks. If only we could make commercials like this one there would be no complaints forthcoming.  This really is Magic. What a stunning commercial from BBC!  Enjoy ….. David Attenborough does it again! Click below www.youtube.com/embed/auSo1MyWf8g?rel=0

Thanks Millie

Pope Francis the Modernizer

The pope has finally lifted the ban on condoms. Training, however, is still required.

Thanks Ivan

Baby Elephant outing

I just love elephants and I really enjoyed this....hope you do too !! 

http://www.youtube.com/embed/bu_E2f0mQmI?rel=0

Thanks Sam/Ellen

Laugh Out Loud

Check out all four of these.   All are funny as heck!  Sharon

 

Video of the Day from Big Geek Daddy

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Jonathan Winters Stick

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Tim Conway Elephant Story

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Survived By Wife

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Thanks Kui

Always choose a memorable password!

A lady helps her husband install a new computer. Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password, selecting a word that he'll always remember. As the computer asks him to enter it, he looks at his wife and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye, he selects a word:    mypenis.   As he hits "enter", to validate the selection, his wife collapses with laughter and rolls on the floor in hysteria!!

Not Him

Thanks Heidi

Two Elderly People

This is the story of two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.

Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes, Yes, I will."

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."

Thanks Randy

Thursday's Vehicle - Chevy 409 The Beach Boys

Could Rehtaeh Parsons suicide be prevented by quicker government action?

Probably not. I am seething with anger that no action was taken by this so called tough on crime government, and that corporate interests took priority. The inaction of this government after the National outrage over the Amanda Todd suicide and the public cry for legislation is, in itself, an outrage.

The fact that not only the government but the media as well have snubbed Amanda and all the other teens who were cyber-bullied into committing suicide says little for our priorities.

I for one am not naive enough to believe that legislation will solve this problem as no government can legislate compassion, respect or conscience.... that has to come from within

There is a cost to inactivity

And the teens of Canada are paying that price

Amanda posted this video in September 2012

Chantal LaRose 15 commited suicide in November 2011
no one heard her cries for help

http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/story/2010/10/05/f-barwick-online-bullying.html

Just last month (2010), video of a drugged 16-year old B.C. teen’s rape at a rave was posted on Facebook.

Gone but not forgotten
Amanda Todd

http://www.bullyingcanada.ca/content/239662

This site dates back to 2009

http://www.cyberbullying.ca/pdf/Cyberbullying_Information.pdf

This site dates back to 2004

Yet

The Conservatives sat on the report after Amanda's suicide now we are told it will take months to come up with legislation, they have already had months if not years and still nothing. I wonder what the next priority will be that pushes this legislation to the back burner?