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Wednesday, June 7, 2017

GRANDMA GOES TO COURT


During a trial in a small Southern USA town, the prosecuting attorney called for his first witness. After the witness had been duly sworn-in, the prosecutor approached the witness stand and asked the witness, an elderly grandmother figure: “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

The woman replied: “I certainly do. Mr. Williams, I’ve known you since you were a little boy, and frankly, you’ve been a disappointment to me. You lie. You cheat on your wife. You manipulate people and talk bad about them behind their back. You think you’re a big shot when you don’t have the brains to realize that you’re nothing more than a two-bit pusher. Oh, yes, I know you.”

The prosecuting lawyer was stunned. After gathering his wits from the unexpected shock, he pointed across the courtroom and asked: “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

The woman again replied: “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. He is unable to build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state, not to mention that he had cheated on his wife with three different women, and one of them was your wife. Yes. I know him.”
The defense attorney nearly fainted.

The presiding judge then asked both lawyers to approach the bench, and in very hushed tones said: “If either of you idiots ask her if she knows me, I’ll send both of you to the electric chair!”

Thanks Ivan

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