The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from
your house you can be in a robe, before you start looking like a
mental patient.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social
situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm
worried about the 195 lbs. I've gained.
I'm getting kind of tired always slowly raising my hand when
someone asks, "Who does something like that?!?"
I always wondered what the job application is like at
Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here
fill this out"..?
Four-time NASCAR Sprint Cup champion Jeff Gordon
announced that this will be his final season of racing. You
could tell it was time for him to retire during his
last race when he had his blinker on the whole time.
The speed in which a woman says "nothing" when
asked "What's wrong?" is inversely proportional to the
severity of the shit storm that's coming.
Denny's has a slogan, 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on
us.' .....If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday...
your life sucks!
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I
need.....not all this, "how did you get in my house" !
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today....Pretty
sure she's going to get me something.
On average, an American man will have sex two to three
times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a
year...........This is upsetting news to me............I had no
idea I was Japanese.
I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penny
has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language
entirely out of tattoos.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see
them pick their nose?
When I die I want to be reincarnated as a spider. Just so I can
finally hear a women say "Oh my God, it's huge!"
your house you can be in a robe, before you start looking like a
mental patient.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social
situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm
worried about the 195 lbs. I've gained.
I'm getting kind of tired always slowly raising my hand when
someone asks, "Who does something like that?!?"
I always wondered what the job application is like at
Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here
fill this out"..?
Four-time NASCAR Sprint Cup champion Jeff Gordon
announced that this will be his final season of racing. You
could tell it was time for him to retire during his
last race when he had his blinker on the whole time.
The speed in which a woman says "nothing" when
asked "What's wrong?" is inversely proportional to the
severity of the shit storm that's coming.
Denny's has a slogan, 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on
us.' .....If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday...
your life sucks!
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I
need.....not all this, "how did you get in my house" !
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today....Pretty
sure she's going to get me something.
On average, an American man will have sex two to three
times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a
year...........This is upsetting news to me............I had no
idea I was Japanese.
I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penny
has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language
entirely out of tattoos.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see
them pick their nose?
When I die I want to be reincarnated as a spider. Just so I can
finally hear a women say "Oh my God, it's huge!"
Thanks John G
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