Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
> the last one is great!
> Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
> immediately take the words back...
> or that you could crawl into a hole?
> Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
>
>
> FIRST TESTIMONY:
> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
> and asked loudly,
> "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow j0b?"
> I turned around and walked back out and never went back
> My husband didn't say a word...
> he knew better.
>
>
> SECOND TESTIMONY:
> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
> I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
> After browsing for several minutes,
> I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
> He asked if he could help me.
> Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"
>
> THIRD TESTIMONY:
> My sister and I were at the mall and
> passed by a store that sold a
> variety of candy and nuts.
> As we were looking at the display case,
> the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
> I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
> My sister started to laugh hysterically.
> The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
> To this day, my sister has never let me forget..
>
>
> FOURTH TESTIMONY:
> While in line at the bank one afternoon,
> my toddler decided to release
> some pent-up energy and ran amok.
> I was finally able to grab hold of
> her after receiving looks of disgust
> and annoyance from other patrons.
> I told her that if she did not start behaving
> "right now" she would be punished..
> To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
> "If you don't let me go right now,
> I will tell Grandma that I saw you
> kissing Daddy's willy last night!"
> The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
> Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
> I mustered up the last of my dignity and
> walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow..
> The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
>
>
> FIFTH TESTIMONY:
> Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
> My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
> One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
> While enjoying my burger, I smelled something funny,
> so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, 
> she was clean.
> Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
> I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
> I kept thinking
> "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
> Then I said,
> "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
> "No," he replied.
> I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
> Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
> bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
> "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
> While 30 people nearly choked to death on their food laughing,
> he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
> An old couple made me feel better,
> thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>
>
> LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
> This had most of the state of Michigan in America laughing for 2 days
> and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
> in the future, likely think before she speaks.
> What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
> We had a female news anchor that,
> the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
> turned to the weatherman and asked:
> "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
> Not only did he have to leave the set,
> but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Thanks Randy