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Monday, January 27, 2014

I am Older Than Dirt, how about you?

Take this test. I would bet that most of you (but not you young’ns)
will score 95% or better.

*'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you
were growing up?'*

*'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.*

*'All the food was slow.'*

*'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'*

*'It was a place called 'at* *home’, I explained. *

*Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together
at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate, I
was allowed to sit there until I did like it.*

*By this time, the kid was laughing so hard, I was afraid he was going to
suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I
had to have permission to leave the table.*

*But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood,
if I figured his system could have handled it :*

*Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore* *Levis, never set
foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit

*In their later years, they had something called a revolving charge card.
The card was good only at *Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.

Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

*My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we
never had heard of soccer.*

*I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed,

*We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19.*

*It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at
midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came
back on the air at about 6 a..m. and there was usually a locally produced
news and farm show on, featuring local people.*

*I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizzapie.' When I
bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung
down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the
best pizza I ever had.*

*I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the
living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to
listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the

*Pizzas were not delivered to our home but milk was.*

*All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers--* *my
brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of
which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at* *6 AM every morning.*

*On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His
favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep
the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never
be home on collection day.*

*Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the
movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly
produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or
most anything offensive.*

*If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to
share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren*
*Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.*

*Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?*

*MEMORIES from a friend :*

*My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and
he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a
stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but
my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt
shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the
ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam
irons. Man, I am old.*

*How many do you remember?*

*Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.*

*Ignition switches on the dashboard.*

*Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.*

*Real ice boxes.*

*Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.*

*Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.*

*Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.*

*Older Than Dirt Quiz :*

*Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.
Ratings at the bottom.*

*1. Blackjack chewing gum*
*2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water *
*3. Candy cigarettes*
*4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles*
*5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke* *boxes *
*6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers*
*7. Party lines* *on the telephone*
*8 Newsreels before the movie*
*9. P.F. Flyers*
*10. Butch wax*
*11.. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were
there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3
channels...* *[if you were fortunate])*
*12. Peashooters*
*13. Howdy Doody*
*14. 45 RPM records*
*15.* *S&* *H green stamps*
*16. Hi-fi's*
*17. Metal ice trays with lever*
*18. Mimeograph paper*
*19. Blue flashbulb*
*20. Packards*
*21. Roller skate keys*
*22.* Cork *popguns*
*23. Drive-ins*
*24. Studebakers*
*25. Wash tub wringers*

*If you remembered 0-5 = You're still youngIf you remembered 6-10 = You are
getting older*

*If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,If you remembered 16-25 =
You' re older than dirt!*

*I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best* *parts
of my life.*
Thanks Ellen

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