Total Pageviews

Monday, January 27, 2014

Hitman (qualifier for Joke of the Year 2013)

Two old  friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local  golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,
"Do  you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up".
Sure, they  said, you’re welcome.
So they started playing and enjoyed the game  and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a  living?"
“I’m a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!” was  the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag,  and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large  telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
That's a beautiful  telescopic sight,” said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I  might be able to see my house from here".
So he picked up the rifle  and looked through the sight in the direction of his  house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. "This sight is  fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the  bedroom".
"Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! Wait a minute, that's my  neighbour in there with her......He's naked, too! The  bitch!"
He turned to the hit man. “How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do a flat rate, for you: One thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
“Sure, what do you want?”
"First, shoot my wife; she's  always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.
Then the neighbour, he's  supposed to be a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach  him a lesson."
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing  perfectly still for a few minutes.
“Are you gonna do it or not?"  asked the friend impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly . . . . ."I think I can save ya a grand  here."
Thanks Hiedi

No comments:

Post a Comment