The talking centipede

A lonely man walks into a pet store looking for an unusual pet, something
that is completely different than he has ever owned before, something that
would make a good companion.

After some discussion with the store owner, the  man buys a talking
centipede which came in a little white wooden box. The box was dotted
with plenty of small holes so that the centipede could breath.

The man arrives home a finds a good spot to place the box. He names
his new pet 'Ralph' and decides to start talking to him.

So he asks the centipede, " would you like to go to the pub with me today.
We will have a good time" His pet doesn't answer him. The man waits for
a minute thinking, maybe he didn't hear me.  The man asks again, " would
you like to go to the pub with me today"
Again, no answer from his new pet. The man is really worried now. He thinks
for a few minutes and decides to ask one more time.

This time the man puts his face right up to the box and shouts, "Hey in
there, would you like to go to the pub with me today"
This time the man hears a little voice coming from the box.

 

" Will you relax !  I heard you the first time!  I'm putting my
 damn shoes on"

 

Thanks Joe Y