SEX AT 76

I JUST TOOK A LEAFLET OUT OF MY MAILBOX, INFORMING ME THAT I CAN HAVE SEX AT 76.
I'M SO HAPPY, BECAUSE I LIVE AT NUMBER 74.
SO IT'S NOT TOO FAR TO WALK HOME AFTERWARDS.
AND IT'S THE SAME SIDE OF THE STREET.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CROSS THE ROAD!
~~~~~
ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE, "I AM NOT AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW, BUT THANK YOU FOR CARING ENOUGH TO CALL.
I AM MAKING SOME CHANGES IN MY LIFE.
PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP.
IF I DO NOT RETURN YOUR CALL, YOU ARE ONE OF THE CHANGES."
~~~~~
MY WIFE AND I HAD WORDS, BUT I DIDN'T GET TO USE MINE.
~~~~~
FRUSTRATION IS TRYING TO FIND YOUR GLASSES WITHOUT YOUR GLASSES.
~~~~~
BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO CAN GIVE WITHOUT REMEMBERING AND TAKE WITHOUT FORGETTING.
~~~~~
THE IRONY OF LIFE IS THAT, BY THE TIME YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND, YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
~~~~~
GOD MADE MAN BEFORE WOMAN SO AS TO GIVE HIM TIME TO THINK OF AN ANSWER FOR HER FIRST QUESTION.
~~~~~
I WAS ALWAYS TAUGHT TO RESPECT MY ELDERS, BUT IT KEEPS GETTING HARDER TO FIND ONE.
~~~~~
EVERY MORNING IS THE DAWN OF A NEW ERROR.
~~~~~
ASPIRE TO INSPIRE BEFORE YOU EXPIRE.

Thanks Randy