Climate Change by John Peate - a poem that also appeared in the Oshawa Express in 2008

Climate Change,” Steve Harper says.
“Is just imagination.
Why listen to the scientists
And wake a sleepy nation?”


“Albertan Oil,,” Steve Harper says,
“Is my political salvation.
What matter careless production
Will be mankind's damnation?”

“Poverty,” Steve Harper says.
“Is just a Left Wing fiction.
Idleness is at its root.
Such is my conviction.”

“Economy's ills,” Steve Harper says,
“Can easily be cured.
Tax cuts for the rich will bring
Prosperity assured.”

“Job losses,” Steven Harper says,
“Cut me to the core.
Losses by my candidates
Will bother me much more.”

“The care of children,” Harper says,
“Is just for you and me.
Daycare will spoil the little brats
And set their parents free.”

“Women's Status,” Harper says.
“Is now I think just fine.
Continued funding for the dears
Is not a wish of mine.”

“Literacy,” Steve Harper says,
“Is a subversive notion.
No funding for such blasphemy
Will I ever set in motion.”

“Accountability,” Harper says.
“Is for the Liberals.
It isn't a necessity
for Tories and their pals.”

“Court Challenges,” Steve Harper says,
Will not be satisfied.
The decrees of my government
Must never be denied.”

“Same sex marriage,” Harper says,
“Is an abomination.
No heresy like this will soil
The great Canadian nation.”

“Softwood lumber,” Harper says,
“Annoys my American friend.
A billion dollars for George Bush
Will make the problem end.”

“Aboriginals,” Steve says,
“Have always been a problem.
I'll cancel Kelowna
And that will surely nobble 'em.”

“Canada,” Steve Harper says,
“ Is just a Federation.
Let's pander to the Separatists
And call Quebec a nation.”

“Youth criminals, “ Steve Harper says,
“Must just be put in Gaol.
Proposals to reform them
Are quite beyond the pale.”

And when Steve goes to bed at night
And ponders on his worth.
He modestly gives thanks to Him
Who made him salt of the Earth.

by John Peate