Ponderisms

1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
2� There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
3� Life is sexually transmitted.
4� Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5� The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
6� Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
7� Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
8� Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9� All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10� In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal...
11� How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
12� Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?
13� If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
14� Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
15� If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
16� If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
17� Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
18� Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
19� Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
20� Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

Thanks Harry