Observations on Growing Older 

~Your kids are becoming you....and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are perfect! 

~Going out is good... 
Coming home is better! 

~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!" 

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price. 
Now you get discounts on everything... 
movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them. 

~You forget names .... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! 

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds. 

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... especially golf. 

~Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember. 

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. 

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep". 

~Remember when your mother said, 
"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? 
Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident! 

~You used to say, 
"I hope my kids GET married... 
Now, "I hope they STAY married!" 

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.. 

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ..... 
were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table. 

~You used to use more 4 letter words ... 
"what?"..."when?"... ??? 

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. 

~Your husband has a night out with the guys, 
but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P..M. 

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it. 

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!! 

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots. 

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired .... 
you'd give anything if he'd find a job! 


~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ... 
2 of which you will never wear. 

~~~~But old is good in some things: 
old songs, 
old movies, 
And best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!