Tom’s eulogy - Today we put our friend of 40 years to rest

" Death is nonexistent, it does not matter. I have simply been called to service, the guiding light for those who passed before me. We are as we were. Nothing has changed, the life we so loved remains. What we once were we still are".

Tom lives on in our hearts and our memories; as a loving son, husband, father, Poppa, uncle and friend. Tom is a good example of perseverance and determination in life’s journey, nothing comes easy, it is what you make it; all you need is love, hope and a sense of humour. 

In today’s vernacular Tom was a gamer, a man’s man, and a joy to be around. Oh sure he had his quirky side like stashing “cash” in his suit jacket pockets “just in case” but that was a family trait; right Mom?  

Or his habit of bundling money in separate packets; held together with elastic bands; each packet had its own story and its own reason for existing; “This one I won at the casino in Niagara, this one I won in New Orleans” he would go on and on, some of the bundles were over ten years old, but he remembered every dollar, where it went and where it came from. 

But Tom was not cheap, he had a generous heart and a benevolent side, he never bragged about it. If you borrowed five bucks from him he expected it back, if he gave you five bucks he would never mention it, “Oh, by the way Tom the five bucks Barb owes you is in an envelope under your pillow”. 

I met Tom in 1975 and it was like finding the brother I never knew, from the beginning we were inseparable, co-conspirators in pranks, wooding and the liberation of CN railway ties. 

We were a tag team of mischief. If I thought of it Tom was up for it and if Tom thought of it I was up for it. We built fences together, helped build our basements, and installed retaining walls with liberated CN rail ties. Back then the only thing we knew about carpentry was getting hammered on the weekend, but we worked hard and played hard. 

One hot summer day while digging post holes at my place we plopped ourselves down in the shade between the houses to cool off; as we sat there Sergio, the neighbor behind Pat and I, was in the shower, singing “Oh sole mio”. It was too easy; his garden hose was under the bathroom window. I suggested to Tom that we sneak over, I would get down on all fours and Tom would stand on my back grab the hose and shove it in the screen while I would turn the water on.

Like two stealth warriors we set off to execute my plan; I knelt, Tom balanced precariously on my back, I reached up turned on the water and as Tom stood up WAP, Sergio hit him right in the face with a bucket of water. 

It backfired and Tom’s grumpy side came out “Damn you Hawkins next time you have a bright idea you do it yourself”.
 

This is where the word tomfoolery was born. 

Family was everything to Tom it is only natural that he would have his favourites; Mom and Dad, aunt Lil, aunt Jenny, uncle Bill, cousins Debby and Billy and countless others but the apple of his eye was his boys Keith and Chris and their children Brittany, Josh, Troy and Hayley. Nephews Clayton and Shane were another source of great pride for Tom he not only admired their successes but was grateful for the help they extended to Barb and him. 

You are all a part of him and an extension of his life. 

His friends also played a big part in his life; the Rhodes family, Alan, Daniel, Jennifer and Stacy were just four of those friends who held a special place in Tom and Barbs heart. They made annual sojourns to Conyers Georgia to reminisce of days gone by and to talk NASCAR and watch the races together. He saw the girls grow into women and bragged about them as if they were his own. 

Tom had a habit of picking up strays, hats that is; he was the original Cat in a Hat. On one visit to Conyers we were out to dine as a group, the Rhodes, Hawkins’ and Browns, young Jennifer was working that night at the Outback, as we waited in queue for a table Tom found a Tam. Tom’s alter ego, Jean Louis De Brebouf appeared. Out came the teeth and he began speaking in tongues, a mix of French and English, he pressed his gummy face against the window hoping to embarrass Jennifer, he had us all in stitches including the other patrons only to go unnoticed by Jennifer, she had eyes for a waiter in her section and not for some silly old fart with a tam and no dentures. 

On a later trip to New Orleans a chefs hat landed at Toms feet and Chef Pierre emerged. 

As for Pat and I, our children Tina, Brad, Jason and Megan grew up with Keith and Chris in fact for the first few months of Megan’s life, while I was working in Halifax, Tom was the surrogate father to our kids and Megan called Tom daddy. 

Then there is the Duke family of Nutley New Jersey, Pat’s cousin Ken and wife Dot who Tom and Barb joined us on a visit to many years ago and quickly became members and participants in the annual Duke family reunion as well as anniversary celebrations. 

His neighbors, the Gundhu family were also a special part of Tom’s life he spoke fondly and often of them and their children. 

That was Tom, simple, honest and loving. 

The past 40 years have been a wild and crazy ride my friend; we have had our ups and downs but one thing is certain our friendship never wavered. 

You will be sadly missed but fondly remembered by us all. 

Farewell. Until we meet again, God bless, enjoy your new adventures.