RALPH THE HEN

Ralph came home  drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a  deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter  said,  'You died in your sleep, Ralph…

Ralph was stunned. 'I'm  dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me  back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can  go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ralph was devastated, but begged  St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew, he  was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster  strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day  here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange  feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,'  explained the rooster.  'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg  before?'

'Never,' said Ralph. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,'  says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

Ralph did, and a few  uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Ralph was overcome  with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his  joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a  smack on the back of his  head, and heard his wife yell.....

'Ralph! Wake  up. You shit the bed!'      

Thanks Shirley