IS THIS WHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO???
A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down
the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown
at him, she said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling
asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting.."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to
get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me.."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek
and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck..."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked..
"To get my teeth!"
DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTRE
80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.
She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces,"Anyone who can
guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the
years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately,
their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and
said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long
time but I just can't think of your name.. I've thought and thought,
but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared
and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to Know?"
As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone
rang.. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "
Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong
way on M25. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Vernon , "It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely
see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to
major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing
it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few
more minutes, they came to another major junction and the light was
red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger
seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really
concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they went
on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did
you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could
have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"
Thanks Norman..... seems I fall into all categories