Courtesy of Country Classic Cars.... http://countryclassiccars.com/
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Caledonia Curling Club
If anyone knows where this club was please feel free to contact me at hawkins_bobby@yahoo.ca
Newfie drunk
Newfie Drunk, you just gotta love it!!!!
How many of our Officers would find the humour in this e-mail!
After all, I am sure he was sitting there laughing at this guy the entire time.
Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the
street outside a Legion Hall just off the main in Gander NF, CANADA
After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall.
The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
He then stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity
and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed
to find his car, which he fell into.
He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and
line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish..
A number of other patrons paid no attention to this crazy drunk
as they left the bar and drove off.
Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off
(it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on and off
a couple of times, honked the horn, and switched on the headlights.
He then pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward
a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more
minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot
and started to drive slowly down the road.
The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up
the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over.
He performed a breathalyser test on the gentleman who cooperated fully,
and to his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man
having consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfie,
Thanks Ellen/Sam
How many of our Officers would find the humour in this e-mail!
After all, I am sure he was sitting there laughing at this guy the entire time.
Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the
street outside a Legion Hall just off the main in Gander NF, CANADA
After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall.
The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
He then stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity
and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed
to find his car, which he fell into.
He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and
line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish..
A number of other patrons paid no attention to this crazy drunk
as they left the bar and drove off.
Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off
(it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on and off
a couple of times, honked the horn, and switched on the headlights.
He then pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward
a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more
minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.
At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot
and started to drive slowly down the road.
The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up
the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over.
He performed a breathalyser test on the gentleman who cooperated fully,
and to his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man
having consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfie,
Thanks Ellen/Sam
My Favorite Bar and Bar Maid
Sylvia... she serves up the best Lotto Cocktail in Burlington
All that and she is now at the new and enlarged "Home Hardware"
in Appleby Village @ Appleby and New
yes folks that's my electric scooter you see
Saturday, July 30, 2011
My Sister Roz on the Royal Train
Montreal circa 1958... the Queens visit.... Roz had sent a congratulatory note to the Queen and when the Queen was coming to Canada Roz was invited for an audience with Her Majesty .... unfortunately the Queen was ill that day and Roz sat with her secretary (print dress) and had her photo taken.
Zen Teachings
ZEN TEACHINGS
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In
fact, just leave me the Hell alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you fart.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing
a couple of payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
13. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes
from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither
one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...
then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night
Thanks Ivan R
Friday, July 29, 2011
Foster Care - My Parents
Cow from Nebraska
The only cow in a small town in Colorado stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow in Nebraska for $200.00.
They bought the cow from Nebraska and took it to their small Colorado town. The cow was wonderful. She produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like her. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask the veterinarian, a very wise man, what to do. They told the vet what was happening.
"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs away."
The vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Nebraska?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow.
"You are truly a wise vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Nebraska?"
The vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Nebraska..."
Thanks Kerry C
They bought the cow from Nebraska and took it to their small Colorado town. The cow was wonderful. She produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like her. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask the veterinarian, a very wise man, what to do. They told the vet what was happening.
"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs away."
The vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Nebraska?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow.
"You are truly a wise vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Nebraska?"
The vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Nebraska..."
Thanks Kerry C
Lessons from Mom
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of
next week!”
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of
next week!”
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”
” Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going
to the store with me.”
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going
to the store with me.”
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about..”
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about..”
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA …
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
“Stop acting like your father!”
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t
have wonderful parents like you do.”
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t
have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”
19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
“You’re just like your father.”
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
My Tuesday Morning Ride - Who Knew Burlington Had a Beach?
Whoa! I have lived in this beautiful city since 1987 and never visited the beach. That's right folks.... 24 years... I've been to Spencer Smith for all kinds of activities but never went to the "Beach".
Of course I have heard all the shenanigans that went on about the city forcing longtime residents out. And yes, I know it was leased land but the some of the land was owned by individual home owners.... fortunately for those owners they were able to win the war.
That being said, the city has done a fine job with the land they did acquire and, the home owners that remain..... they have done an equally amazing job with their properties .... I was fortunate to come across one home owner who allowed me to take the photo you will see within my pictures of the Tuesday ride ... beautiful job ..... and, by the way, none of these homes interfere with the beach nor would their destruction have enhanced the beauty of the trail.
"And don't you forget it"
"The walking/bike path"
"Trillium patch"
"NOT a Trillium Patch"
"Hard evidence of kids having fun"
"Where I buy my Camera's"
"On the Beach Trail"
"No, It's not the Bahama's" It is just Lake Ontario
"Is this a Goose or a Gander"?
"No Words are Necessary"
"Really, who needs a cottage"
"Ahh, the beach and a boat, what more do you need"?
"Guys do it", "Gals do it"
"Even doggies do it"
"Now really folks, would this house look better as a parking lot"???
"The hydro bridge" "Or is it a tunnel"?
" The waterway to Burlington Bay"
"Bet they don't need to raise the lift bridge for this couple"
"View of Burlington from the waterway"
"Radical man" "Far out" ... do today's kids still say that????
"The Lighthouse"
"The lift bridge and Skyway bridge"
"Where To go next"? Maybe I'll try Hamilton's trail next week
Apparently this works Worth Reading
Any time you call an 800 number
(for a credit card, banking, charter communications, health and other insurance, computer help desk, etc. etc. ) and you find that you're talking to a foreign customer service representative
(with an accent difficult to inderstand/ perhaps in India, Philippines, etc), please consider doing the following:
After you connect and you realize that the Customer Service Representative is not working in Canada.
(you can always ask, if you are not sure about the accent), please, very politely (this is not about trashing other cultures) say, "I'd like to speak to a Customer Service Representative in Canada."
The rep might suggest talking to his/her manager, but, again, politely say, "Thank you, but I'd like to speak to a Customer Service Representative in Canada ."
YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY CONNECTED TO A REP IN CANADA .
That's the rule and the LAW.
It takes less than one minute to have your call re-directed to Canada Tonight when I got redirected to a Canadian Rep, I asked again to make sure - and yes, she was from Calgary . Imagine what would happen if every Canadian Citizen insisted on talking to only Canadian phone reps, from this day on.
Imagine how that would ultimately impact the number of Canadian jobs that would need to be created ASAP.
If I tell 10 people to consider this and you tell 10 people to consider doing this - see what I mean...it becomes an exercise in viral marketing 101.
Remember - the goal here is to restore jobs back here at home - not to be abrupt or rude to a foreign phone rep. You may even get correct answers, good advice, and solutions to your problem - in real English.
Thanks Heather C
(for a credit card, banking, charter communications, health and other insurance, computer help desk, etc. etc. ) and you find that you're talking to a foreign customer service representative
(with an accent difficult to inderstand/ perhaps in India, Philippines, etc), please consider doing the following:
After you connect and you realize that the Customer Service Representative is not working in Canada.
(you can always ask, if you are not sure about the accent), please, very politely (this is not about trashing other cultures) say, "I'd like to speak to a Customer Service Representative in Canada."
The rep might suggest talking to his/her manager, but, again, politely say, "Thank you, but I'd like to speak to a Customer Service Representative in Canada ."
YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY CONNECTED TO A REP IN CANADA .
That's the rule and the LAW.
It takes less than one minute to have your call re-directed to Canada Tonight when I got redirected to a Canadian Rep, I asked again to make sure - and yes, she was from Calgary . Imagine what would happen if every Canadian Citizen insisted on talking to only Canadian phone reps, from this day on.
Imagine how that would ultimately impact the number of Canadian jobs that would need to be created ASAP.
If I tell 10 people to consider this and you tell 10 people to consider doing this - see what I mean...it becomes an exercise in viral marketing 101.
Remember - the goal here is to restore jobs back here at home - not to be abrupt or rude to a foreign phone rep. You may even get correct answers, good advice, and solutions to your problem - in real English.
Thanks Heather C
New Pistol
Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of Senators and Members of Parliament
It will be named the The MP
It doesn't work and you can't fire it..
Thanks Kerry C... I Canadian-ized it
It will be named the The MP
It doesn't work and you can't fire it..
Thanks Kerry C... I Canadian-ized it
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
My Monday Morning Ride - Burloak Lake side Park - Burlington Ontario
Goosey, Goosey, Gander
Rugged shore line
The plaque says it all
Wouldn't want to lay on this beach
To lazy to walk up to the garbage can
Is this really necessary???
Lakeside home from Lakeshore Road
View from the lake
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