How to get to Heaven from Scotland

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my
car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me 
into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 'No!' 

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children and
loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 'No!'

I was just bursting with pride for them.

I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"
                                                    
A six year old boy shouted,

   "Yuv got tae be fuckin' deid"

Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir eye...    

Thanks Norman