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Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Arriving In Heaven
All arrivals in heaven have to go through an examination to determine if admission will be granted.  One room has a clerk who inputs records of what each applicant did on their last day of life.  The first day’s applicant explains that his last day was not good.
"I came home early and found my wife naked in bed.  She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower.  Well, her hair was dry and the shower was completely dry too.  I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover.  I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his fingertips.  I was angry and bashed his fingers with a flower pot.  He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by an awning.  Seeing him still alive, I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over.  It hit the man and killed him.  At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the waiting room.  The second applicant said that his last day was his worst.  "I was on an apartment building roof working on AC equipment.  I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building.  I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment, but some idiot came rushing out and bashed my hands with a flower pot.  I fell, but landed on an awning and survived.  But, as I looked up, I saw a huge chest falling toward me.  I was hit and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the waiting room.  He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters.  The clerk apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the two fellows that arrived here just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man.  "Picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in this cedar chest...

Thanks Randy

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