Why PEOPLE_EAT_BIRDS

Thanks Kerry

Words you don’t hear anymore

I’ve heard most of these at one time or another in my life.  There are a couple that I’m unfamiliar with.  Enjoy these lines from the thrilling days of yesteryear.

• Be sure to refill the ice trays, we’re going to have company.
• Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today.
• Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!
• Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.
• Don’t forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.
• Wash your feet before you go to bed, you’ve been playing outside all day barefooted.
• Why can’t you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.
• You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.
• Don’t you go outside with your school clothes on!
• Go comb your hair, it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.
•  Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle. 
• Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won’t have to pay a deposit on another one.
• Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won’t get on it.
• Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don’t quit!
• Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.
• You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off. 
• There’s a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.
• Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.
• You can walk to the store; it won’t hurt you to get some exercise.
• Don’t sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.
• If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
• Don’t lose that button; I’ll sew it back on after a while.
• Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.
• Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!
• Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don’t have to do that tonight in the dark.
• Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.
• Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.
• Don’t turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.
• No! I don’t have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?
• Eat those turnips, they’ll make you big and strong like your daddy.
• That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don’t care how cold it is out there, dogs don’t stay in the house.
• Sit still! I’m trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.
• Hush your mouth! I don’t want to hear words like that! I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!
• It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.
• If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you’ll get another one when you get home.
• Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!
• Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won’t get infected.
• When you take your driving test, don’t forget to signal each turn.
• Left arm straight out the window for a left turn;; left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn; and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.
• It’s: ‘Yes Ma’am!’ and ‘No Ma’am!’ to me, young man, and don’t you forget it!
• Be sure and wash good behind your ears. There is enough dirt there you could grow corn in it.

Thanks Kerry

Urology Surgery

 

My Surgery  When I first noticed that my penis was growing larger  And staying erect longer, I was delighted, as was my wife   But... After several weeks, my penis had grown fifty centimeters.   I Became quite concerned. I was having problems dressing, and even walking.  So the wife and I went to see a prominent urologist. After an initial examination, the doctor explained to us that,  Though rare, My condition (Donkey Doodle) could be fixed through corrective Surgery.   "How long will he be on crutches?" my wife asked anxiously. "Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.  "Well," Said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?    Thanks Ed

Wednesday's Vehicle - 1957 Oldsmobile

Star investigation: Millions in taxpayer-funded consulting work kept secret

A Star investigation has found 90 per cent of the $2.4 billion paid out in the past decade comes with no description of the work done — and more than a dozen departments refuse to provide details when pressed.

http://www.thestar.com/news/investigations/2013/05/08/star_investigation_millions_in_taxpayerfunded_consulting_work_kept_secret.html

Robocalls court filings shed new light on case, possible Sona involvement

An Elections Canada investigator alleges he had reason to believe that Michael Sona admitted he was involved in misleading robocalls in the 2011 federal election and also alleges that the former Conservative Party campaign worker had hinted he didn’t act alone.

Sona is the only person charged over the “Pierre Poutine” calls sent out to more than 7,000 voters in Guelph, Ont., on election day.

These new but unproven allegations against Sona are detailed in a sworn statement from Elections Canada investigator Allan Mathews, which came to light Monday only after a judge issued a publication ban restricting the reporting of some of the statement’s details.

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/life/Robocalls+court+filings+shed+light+case+possible+Sona+involvement/8835526/story.html

Elections.Canada-Court.Informant.Records-OPFUCKHARPER http://www.mediafire.com/?mlx68u4fj49p55x
Proxy IP 64.64.11.39 Saskatoon, Saskatchewan via FreeProxyServer.ca , Used for Payments and Management of RackNine Clients #45 & #93

Rogers IP 99.225.28.34 Guelph, Ontario also used for Management of RackNine Clients #45 & #93

RackNine Client #45 Activated 10/19/2010 Cancelled 03/06/2012

RackNine Client #93 Activated 04/30/2011 Cancelled 05/02/2011

Between 04/30/2011 and 05/02/2011 Client #45 and Client #93 both used the Proxy IP and the Rogers IP to access and manage their accounts.

And then.....

From the Anonymous site:

The conclusions we have drawn from this is that Director of Communications Micheal Sona confided in Campaign Manager Ken Morgan and at his direction reached out to Conservative Matthew McBain, who then confided in Riding Association President John White with Sona's intentions, after which time Sona tasked Deputy Campaign Manager Andrew Prescott with setting up a 'untraceable' RackNine account to put out the fraudulent calls.
And this ladies and gentlemen...is just 1 riding.

Tuesday's Vehicle - 2013 HAPLESS (Harper Action Plan Light Equipment Shit Spreader)

Bonnie Klein on recieving the Order of Canada

I feel enormously thrilled and grateful to be recognized by my adopted country for the Order of Canada. And more than a little surprised. Yet this great honour comes at a moment when I am beginning not to recognize this same country.

Today's Canada is not the nation that we chose in either 1967 or 1975. It is no longer proud of its difference from the U.S. Instead, the government of Canada seems to aim to emulate its southern neighbour as much as possible, even to grovel for its favour at the cost of this country's independence and uniqueness.

We are following in the footsteps of the U.S, into countries in which we have no business. We loudly support Israel's occupation and expansion into Palestinian territories. Our country is closing its doors to immigrants and refugees, including political refugees, except those who can invest large sums in our economy or contribute cheap labour as temporary foreign workers.

We are compromising our historic public support for the arts and communication by starving and threatening our cultural institutions with cutbacks and commercialization. We have allowed our treasured Medicare system to atrophy rather than improve and fund it appropriately; this has made private medical care look much more attractive than it is.

Rather than protect our precious resources -- our land, water, air and our own health -- from climate disaster, we are shaming dissenting individuals and groups by labeling them "naive" or "subversive." We are allowing partisan interests to silence our scientists and civil servants. We are silent about the continued abuse and neglect of our native peoples, especially women and girls, at the same time as we condemn discrimination elsewhere. We are choosing militarization over taking care of each other and our precious planet.

Would I make the same choice today? I am proud and invigorated by young and old people who are raising urgent concerns about our country's basic values. I am inspired by the Idle No More movement, the Occupiers, those who have chosen to ally themselves with the 99-per-cent, and join with them in sometimes disorderly nonviolent activism.

On the occasion of my investiture as an Officer of the Order of Canada, I am a fierce Canadian, vigilant to preserve the best potential of the Canada we chose -- twice. We all "desire a better country."

http://rabble.ca/news/2013/08/i-am-beginning-not-to-recognize-this-country-bonnie-klein-on-receiving-order-Canada

Video of Bonnie Klein talking about receiving the Order of Canada....

http://ca.search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=A0geu8t_BRpSxT8AnDbrFAx.?p=bonnie%20klein%20on%20recieving%20the%20order%20of%20canada&fr2=sb-top&fr=yfp-t-715&rd=r1

Conservatives exhibit a profound lack of judgement

Conservative scandals multiplying by the day


In Ottawa, the opposition parties are suddenly in a jam, unlike any they’ve encountered in seven-plus years of Harper government. With so many Conservative scandals on the front burner at one time, and a limited number of allotted questions in the House of Commons, how to deal with them all? It’s a logistical nightmare.

At best there’s a risk of scandal chaff setting in – targeting-system confusion, caused by excessive shrapnel in the air. At worst there’s scandal overload, followed by scandal burnout, followed by a massive scandal hangover. It’s not like it was in the Mulroney years, when the government parceled out its catastrophes at a leisurely pace, on average one a year. That was so 20^th Century. In 2013 everything happens at full throttle – especially, it seems, when the wheels come off what was previously a well-oiled, ruthlessly efficient machine.

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/sports/golf/Conservative+scandals+multiplying/8445816/story.html

Weak economy complicates Stephen Harper’s new agenda

OTTAWA—The recovery that never really happened will complicate Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s efforts to put a fresh look on his two-year-old majority government in next month’s throne speech.
 

Ever since the end of the global recession, the Harper government has been expecting economic conditions in Canada to bounce back to post-recession levels.
 

But, though Canada survived the world economy’s swan dive better than most other industrialized countries, domestic growth has fallen short of the expectations cited by Finance Minister Jim Flaherty every year since 2008.
 

To protect Canadians from the global recession, the Harper government in 2009 launched an unprecedented economic pump-priming exercise that has seen Ottawa trying to repair its financial picture — this year it faces an $18-billion deficit — ever since.
 

The Bank of Canada also pulled out all stops to encourage post-recession economic growth, keeping borrowing costs at an historic low for three years. But weak economic conditions in the United States and Europe have gone a long way to nullifying the central bank’s efforts as well.
 

The robust, 2.9 per cent economic growth that Canadians enjoyed the year before Harper moved into 24 Sussex now seems out of reach. In his 2012 budget, Flaherty cited predictions that Canada’s economy would reach 2.4 per cent expansion in 2013. But growth expectations this year have now been chopped to a mediocre 1.7-per cent range.
 

Unemployment, which stood at 6.6 per cent when the Conservatives took power, is now at 7.2 per cent, with 1.4 million out of work.
 

And the outlook is not upbeat as already-strapped consumers ease back on a spending spree that helped shore up the economy but at the same time ran up record levels of debt.

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2013/08/23/weak_economy_complicates_stephen_harpers_new_agenda.html

When I am Gone

"Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after." - Henry David Thoreau

As I approach my twilight years, I am struck by the inevitability that the party must end. And one clear, cold morning after I'm gone, my spouse will awaken in the warmth of our bedroom and be struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore."

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just 5 minutes more."

Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, or say "I love you."

So while we have it, its best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage.....and old cars, and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a son-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close!

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know how you really feel? The important thing is to let every one of your friends know your true feelings, even if you think they don't love you back.

So, just in case I'm gone tomorrow, please rest assured I voted against that asshole, Obama, both times!

WELCOME TO THE 21st CENTURY!!!

 

This is quite clever!! But unfortunately TRUE!! WELCOME TO THE 21st CENTURY!!! where everything is less. *Our Phones ~ Wireless *Cooking ~ Fireless *Cars ~ Keyless *Food ~ Fatless *Tyres ~ Tubeless *Dress ~ Sleeveless *Youth ~ Jobless *Leaders ~ Shameless *Relationships ~ Meaningless *Attitude~ Careless *Wives ~ Fearless *Babies ~ Fatherless *Feelings ~ Heartless *Education ~ Valueless *Children ~ Mannerless *Politicians ~ Gutless   Everything is becoming LESS but still our hopes are ~ Endless. All this, quite frankly, leaves me ~ Speechless!!

Thanks Bernie
 

This is hilarious

Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 M.P.H. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car
over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.

The driver obviously confused said,"Officer, I don't understand, I wasn't doing over the speed limit!, What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer said, "you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous". "Slower than the speed limit? NO SIR! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.

The officer containing a chuckle explains that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned, thanking the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I go Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone OK?

These women seem badly shaken and haven't uttered a word all this time" "Oh! they will be alright in a minute, Officer, we just got off Route 142."

Thanks Pat H

Is this an anti-British sign? Think again.

  Thanks Ralph 

SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW.    'WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER!'   This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in                  CAMPBELTOWN, SCOTLAND.

You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.   However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty.   After all, it is ONLY A SIGN.   You may say 'What kind of business would dare to post such a sign?'       Answer:     A FUNERAL PARLOUR.   (WHO SAID SCOTTISH UNDERTAKERS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR?)   YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!!!

Walking Eagle

Liberal party leader Justin Trudeau attended the Assembly of First Nations annual summer meeting in Whitehorse .

Trudeau said he wasn’t there to speak to the chiefs but to listen.
Then he spoke for almost two hours on his success in bringing the Liberal Party back into the hearts of the Canadian people and how he was going to legalize marijuana and the many ways that he was going to help the First Nations.
At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd cheered wildly and then the head of the First Nations band presented him with

A plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle.

A very proud and pleased Justin then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds..

A news reporter from CBC later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Justin Trudeau .

 

They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can no longer fly.

 

Thanks Ralph