Philosophy anyone!

I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any

  trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom

  until they are flashing behind you.

♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so

  polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X

  and wondered Y?

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean

  to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone?

  That's your common sense leaving your body.
♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks

  of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of

  the pool and throw them fish?

♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see

  about that.
♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name

  on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

♦ Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.
♦ You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple

  of payments.

♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do

  they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
♦ I can't understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older

  women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social

  situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
♦ My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried

  about the 175 pounds I've gained since then.

♦ Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us." If

  you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks!
♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I'm pretty

  sure she's going to get me something.
♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your

  house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental

  patient.
♦ I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language

  entirely out of tattoos

♦ Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody

  was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober,

  Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of

  course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and

  he stayed drunk.

Now, go have a nice day, or whichever kind of day you want.

Thanks Pat