Three Holy Men & Three Bears

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of the University of Maine .   They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.   One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.   One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.   Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.   Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.   'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.   Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and,  Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.

The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'   Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist, spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.   In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear, and then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.   So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.   So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. 

  We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah! 

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.   He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him.  He was in really bad shape. 

  The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start." 


Thanks Norman