THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY...

THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY...
Heather McKeown JFK Inflight

It's hilarious if you choose to look at the sense of entitlement and familiarity some tactless but harmless customers say to those of us in the service industry. Following are some comments that have been directed at me over the years. The choices of retorts I thought but didn't say follow after each rather rude customer statement. I'm not easily offended but, the temerity of some people just stuns me! I'm not fast on my feet and, discretion being the better part of valor, is why I'm silent and passive when unsolicited questions come my way. Yet, silence and passivity do not a milquetoast make. Bearing in mind that I'm in my sixtieth year, these quotes and unsaid responses are singularly shot at older targets.

Comment: “As soon as I saw you, I said to the wife, “Hey, they're hiring senior mommas now! We was wonderin', how long they gonna' let you work before they makes ya' retire?”

What I was thinking: “OH, I'm 34, actually, but I've been in a fire. Only two more surgeries left on my face. This is great news for my husband because he's only 29 and everyone who sees us together thinks I'm his mother.”

Comment: “Hey. You've got big veins in your arms. Did you used to work out?”

What I was thinking: “Yes, I used to work out...like, THIS MORNING! Wanna' arm wrestle, Big Boy?”

Comment: “Oh dear, to be your age again and know what I know now. I loved my seventies.”

What I was thinking: “I think I must look really terrible today...for my age, that is.”

Comment: “I'd ask you to lift my bag for me, but you're in no shape to do so. Maybe someone younger will come along.”

What I was thinking: “I've delivered calves twice the size of your suitcase but fine, let's get a teenager over here STAT.”

Comment: “You look tired, like a USAir flight attendant. I didn't think Jetblue would do that to anyone.”

What I was thinking: “The job does this to all of us many times a year and fatigue isn't airline specific.”

Comment: “Aren't you awfully short to do this job? I mean didn't that Barbie look used to count?”

What I was thinking: “There's no way it counts, I got the job because I prefer blue polyester to faux fur and high fashion or heels. That's the way we roll in Vermont!”

Comment: “I guess you don't have to wear make up on the job nowadays, right?”

What I was thinking: “Some still do...just not ME. I wish I had the self-discipline to apply the full Monty instead of the usual mascar and lipstick, actually...”



Comment: “You don't look good in blue. Maybe a deep red would give you color.”

What I was thinking: “Well, my friends like it, I like it and well, SO THERE!”

Comment: “Please, what can I tell my daughter to get her to stop wanting to be a flight attendant? I mean, I've told her that she's too intelligent and beautiful to do what any tramp can do, right?”

What I was thinking: “If she's adopted, there may be a chance that she didn't inherit your ignorant/rude genetic material. In that case, she may, just MAY, be good enough for this job.”


I adore being a flight attendant...and I've learned to smile. “Even when we're out of Bloody Mary mix.”* And, I forgive them. They know not what they do, but I do know they pay my salary. For me, the trade off is worth the pain of suppressing retaliatory oral come backs and escalation from idyll banter to a full blown war of words.

*one of the best lines from the movie, VIEW FROM THE TOP, starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Candace Bergin and Christina Applegate.

Thanks Heather