I think I might have screwed up. Several of us local retired pilots were asked to address a junior high gathering put on by the PTA. I was the only speaker to show up, so I had the stage to myself. I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit; and since I had plenty of time because those other guys didn't show, I threw it open for questions.
The last one asked was, "Can you give us a couple of your life's philosophical beliefs?”
I said, “That's an easy one. Looking back over my almost 7 decades, I believe I've spent close to 90% of my earnings on booze and whores. The rest I just wasted."
I was escorted out without getting to finish my last two rules to live by:
1) If it flies, floats, or fucks, it's cheaper to rent it.
2) If it's got tits or tires, you're gonna have problems with it.
I hope they invite me back next year so I can finish.
They need to know this stuff!
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