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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Saturday's Vehicle

BLIND CRICKET PLAYER - AMAZING!

video

Thanks Richard

59 Year Old Woman Wins The Hockey Shot

59Year old Brenda Hewlett whom has never held a hockey stick in her life makes a hole in one from the far blue line. the hole was the same size as the hockey puck. For making the hole in one she has won a brand new 2012 Ford F-150 from Frenchie's Ford in Massena, NY 13662




Thanks Sylvia

Turkey Testicle Festival

video
Thanks Normand

Cat soothing crying baby to sleep - too cute!

Ансамбль "Берёзка" - Девичий хоровод "Берёзка"

Amazing Floating Step

These dancers walk so fast without making sounds on the dance floor or tripping over their dresses? Wow simply amazing!
Berezka means a birch tree in Russian.  The ensemble was founded in 1948 and since then they have become a symbol of Russia. Each concert starts with a circle dance in which the dancers seem to be standing still while the stage under their steps seems to be moving. Upon joining the ensemble, dancers are told to keep the famous ‘floating step’ technique a secret. The secret of this step is kept secret. The ensemble is formed by choreographer Nadezhda Nadezhdina who once explained that the core of any dance is the poetic image of a young maiden.
“The mystery lies not in the step but in the emotional state!”

Thanks Sylvia



Aviation Video: C-130J Demo 'Paris 2011' *In Cockpit* | Patrick's Aviation
Who would have thunk a C-130 could do all this, props and all!
Make sure your speakers are on.
Worth the 6 minutes to view. Interesting to hear all the automated warnings and chimes/bells & gongs going off during the routine. The plane is having a fit! The 4 way split screen at the end is neatly done too. Who knew a Herc would be such fun to fly     :-)      Enjoy.

Thanks Kerry 

Christmas Message

Twas the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest,
           
and all of us seniors were looking our best.
           
Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry;
           
Our punchbowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.
           
   
           
A bedsock was taped to each walker, in hope
         
That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.
           
We surely were lucky to be there with friends,
           
Secure in this residence and in our Depends.
           
   
           
Our grandkids had sent us some Christmasy crafts,
           
Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.
           
The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth,
           
And from them she'd crafted a holiday wreath.
           
   
           
The bed pans, so shiny, all stood in a row,
           
Reflecting our candle's magnificent glow.
           
Our supper so festive -- the joy wouldn't stop --
           
Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.
           
   
           
Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great,
           
Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.
           
The social director then had us play games,
           
Like "Where Are You Living?" and "What Are Your Names?"
           
   
           
Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,
           
Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.
           
Our resident wand'rer was tied to her chair,
           
In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.
           
   
           
Security lights on the new fallen snow
           
Made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.
           
Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter
           
(But we are so deaf that it just didn't matter).
           
   
           
A strange little fellow flew in through the door,
           
Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor.
           
Twas just our director, all togged out in red.
           
He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.
           
   
           
  
We knew from the way that he strutted and jived
           
Our social- security checks had arrived.
           
We sang -- how we sang -- in our monotone croak,
           
Till the clock tinkled out its soft eight-p.m. stroke.
           
   
           
And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds.
           
While nurses distributed nocturnal meds.

And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest.
           
fore long you'll be with us, We wish you the best!



Thanks Norman

Train Derailment


Thanks Kerry

Colonoscopy: too funny

All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.


"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing wouldhappen." 

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." 


"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." 



"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." 





"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
and insulted him,
so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the
 legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery,
and the
 blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story?  
 
Even though the others do all the work...
The
 a__ h___ is usually in charge 

Thanks Sam/Ellen

Friday, December 30, 2011

Friday's Vehicle - American Muscle

Invisible Rope Trick Prank Caught by Police

Me and my good friend Nate pulling the old invisible rope prank on cars. We got some seriously awesome reactions!!! But at the end of the video, the police show up and tell us that someone called on us :) Anyway, we had a great time producing this 2 month video project and stopped many cars. 


Thanks Sylvia


Enjoy Life - It Has An Expiration Date





R.C.M.P.
A Mountie pulled a car over on the Trans Canada about 2 miles West of
Winnipeg.

When the Mountie asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered
that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Brandon to do
a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.

The Mountie told the driver he was just fascinated by juggling, and if the
driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a
speeding ticket. The driver told the Mountie that he had sent all of his
equipment on  ahead and didn't have anything to  juggle.


The Mountie told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car
and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Mountie got three flares, lit them
and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol
car.

A drunk, good old boy, driving through from Alberta got out and watched the
performance briefly.

He then went over to the patrol car, pulled opened the rear door and then
got in.

The Mountie observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened
the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk then replied to the Mountie  ...
      
You  might as well take me to jail ... "Cause there's no fricking` way I can
pass that test"


Thanks Kui

Lawyer & a senior!

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors
 are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.


So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.

This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.

He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Don't mess with seniors !

Thanks Sam/Ellen

Buddy Hackett - Adult Content

This is a segment from Buddy Hackett's night club act in the 80s--- I had never seen this one before. 

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Thursday's Vehicle

Thanks Kerry

Harper's Attitude Toward Parliament

C
O
N
T
E
M
P
T

Night Song by Rosalyn Hawkins-Snyder

Roz and Dave's Wedding Oct 10 1960

O' shepherd - by Rosalyn Hawkins age 14

Roz wrote this poem for our grandmothers 60th birthday in 1956

Old Photo's

Main St. Spencer Iowa, 1936

1950 Chev convertible, a sunny day in Florida

Alco Truck

1947 Bentley Mark IV Cabriolet custom

Thanks Kerry

Bless the Newfies

The newfies have solved their own fuel problems.
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.

Me buddy's missus left him last Thursday.
She said she was going out for a pint of milk and never came back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said, ⤽Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of me wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, "Lard Jasus yes by'e, dats her."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I know by'e, but she's good to the kids & a tolerable cook."
Two Newfoundlanders find a mirror in the road.
The first one picks it up and says, "Lard Jasus I knows this face but I can't put a name to it."
The second picks it up and says, "You stupid bastard, it's me!"

A Newfie's in jail.
The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging meself," he replies.
"It should be round your neck," says the guard.
"I tried that," the Newfie says, "but I couldn't friggin' breathe."

Thanks Randy

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Wednesday's Vehicle

My Fantasy Wishes for 2012

I wish for the end of bullying in the House of Commons

It sets a bad example for our youth

I wish for a return to decorum in the House of Commons

It sets a bad example for our youth

I wish for an end to the lies in the House of Commons

It sets a bad example for our youth

But most of all.....

I wish for the end of the deplorable, despicable party practices we see from the Conservative Party

It sets a bad example for our youth




A Canadian voting for Stephen Harper
is like
a chicken voting for Colonel Saunders


Banned on the Hill (and in Europe!)

A Canadian artist takes on the Harper government

A Toronto area artist is standing up to her bully.
Her bully, she claims, is the Harper government.
Many will recall the story of Franke James, an environmental advocate who, over the years, has created provocative visual essays challenging the Canadian government over its inaction on climate change.

Clic below for full story
Earlier this year, James' artwork garnered the attention of a Croatia-based environmental group called Nektarina Non Profit who wanted to feature 20 of her original art pieces as part of a European tour.
In July, however, Nektarina told the Toronto Star that a $5,000 tour grant they were slated to receive from the Canadian embassy in Croatia was pulled after Ottawa notified the embassy of James' criticisms of the Harper government.
Moreover, James' alleges the Conservatives badmouthed her to a corporate sponsor who yanked its sponsorship funds to avoid "further damage" to their company.
While Ottawa has denied any interference, James has since obtained documents under the Access to Information act that appear to show Canadian officials did block the Embassy's grant.
"Government emails reveal that Canada's climate change office was secretly working to kill my support," James said in a visual essay posted on her website.

Conservatives Bullying the Little People




Is this Canada?
 
or

Iran?

Packer Fan Makes Statement

Girl Tells Santa She Wants Dad Home From Iraq, Doesn't Know Santa is Dad



Thanks Sylvia

Pain Transfer

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the baby's father.

He asked if they were interested. Both said they were very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced
before. But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a
notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.  The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
 

At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the postman dead on the porch.

Thanks Ellen/Sam

Golden Loves Guitar !!

THIS IS HOW COWBOYS START OUT IN TEXAS !!!!

You want a piece of me big fella?

Thanks Kui.... is that George Bush on his ranch?

Great Italian Sex

Great Italian Sex

The Jewish man said, “Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat), we made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end!”


The Frenchman boasted, “Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for 10 minutes!”

The Italian man said, “Well, last week my wife and I also had sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil. We made love, and she screamed for over six hours!”


The other two were stunned.

The amazed Frenchman asked, “What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?”

The Italian said............”I wiped my hands on the bedspread.” 

Thanks Richard

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
ï

    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow
   

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).


  "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas


  

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
   

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
   

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill


    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." -  Winston Churchill, in response.


    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop


    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright


    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
   


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson


    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
   

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand


    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
   

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain


    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
   


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
  

  "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


  "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder


   "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Thanks Richard