For MEN.....and WOMEN

Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, "Which book has helped you most in your life?" 
The woman replied, "My husband's check book!!"

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A prospective husband in a book store "Do you have a book called 
'Husband - the Master of the House?'" 
Sales Girl: "Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!"

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Someone asked an old man: "Even after 70 years, you still call your 
wife - darling, honey, luv. What's the secret?" 
Old Man: "I forgot her name and I'm scared to ask her."

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Pharmacist to customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an 
anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription .... 
Simply showing marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough !

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A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink 
& the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water &Mother Teresa.

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There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make 
wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened!

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Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.

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Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men? 
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"

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COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to 
handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot 
of improvement!?

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When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT - what he really 
means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.

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A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his 
sleep! What should I give him to cure it?" 
The Doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake!"

Thanks Norman