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Saturday, April 8, 2017

Returning the laughter

WHEN YOU ARE  FEELING STUPID, READ THIS!
You'll feel  much better after this....
And then  read it again; You'll begin to think
You're a  Genius.....
  
  
(On  September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone  was selected as Miss America 1995.)Question:  If you could live forever, would you and  why?
Answer: "I  would not live forever, because we should not  live forever, because if we were supposed to  live forever, then we would live forever, but we  cannot live forever, which is why I would not  live forever,"
--Miss  Alabama in the 1994 Miss   USA     contest.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"Whenever  I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all  over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd  love to be skinny like that, but not with all  those flies and death and stuff."--Mariah  Carey,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"Smoking  kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very  important part of your life,"-- Brooke  Shields, during an interview to become  spokesperson for federal anti-smoking  campaign,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"I've  never had major knee surgery on any other part  of my body,"--Winston  Bennett,   University     of   Kentucky     basketball  forward.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"Outside  of the killings,   Washington     has one of  the lowest crime rates in the  country,"--Mayor  Marion Barry,   Washington     ,   DC     .  ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"That  lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death  by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do  it,"--A  congressional candidate in   Texas     .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"Half this  game is ninety percent mental."--Philadelphia  Phillies manager, Danny Ozark,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"It isn't  pollution that's harming the environment. It's  the impurities in our air and water that are  doing it.."--Al Gore,  Vice President,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"I  love  California .   I  practically grew up in  Phoenix  ."-- Dan  Quayle,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"We've got  to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air  do we need?"--Lee  Iacocca,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"The word  "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius  is a guy like Norman Einstein."--Joe  Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports  analyst.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"We don't  necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude  certain types of people."-- Colonel  Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
"Your food  stamps will be stopped effective March 1992  because we received notice that you passed away.  May God bless you.. You may reapply if there is  a change in your circumstances."--Department  of Social Services, Greenville , South  Carolina,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"Traditionally,  most of Australia 's imports come from  overseas."--Keppel  Enderbery,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Feeling  smarter yet?
Send it on  to
Your brilliant friends.

 
I just did  !!

Thanks Ivan

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