The Hon. Kim Jong Un
The Great Successor
Sun of the 21st Century
Supreme Leader
Marshal of the Democratic People’s
Republic of Korea
Ryongsong Residence
Pyongyang, North Korea
Dear Mr. Kim:
I write to congratulate you on the occasion of your late grandfather’s 105th birthday. I heard about the difficulties you had with the missile this weekend, but be assured that the launch was cheered by thousands of Muslims in Jersey City.
Please forgive the impersonal nature of this correspondence, but a matter of this urgency cannot be left to the North Korean postal system. The world is the closest it has been to nuclear war in 55 years, and I wanted to caution you that the man with whom you are now eyeball to eyeball could be as mad as a March hare.
Thanks Ivan
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