Friday's Eye Appointment

Well folks I went for my periodic eye appointment today (Friday). This is something I have to do ever since they diagnosed me as having AMD (Age related Macular Degeneration).


Today was follow up test..... a means of extracting additional money from Medicare and an extra 120 dollars from me. That's right folks, the test I needed was not covered by Medicare.


You should see this doctors clinic.... it is like Indian Summer in there.


In the first test they check for damage at the back of the eye. Pretty easy actually. Then they move me over to another technician for more tests. It's here that the fun begins. You sit at a cramped table with your chin in a support and your forehead pressed against the upper support. "Don't move your eye sir", says the technician, a cute young Asian girl..... not a chance, says I to myself... I'll be pleased to watch you with my one free eye.


Damn it! She shoots this bright white light into my eye. Then the other. "Thank you", she says. I look and she is green. "Ha! Kermits girl friend" I say out loud. "What"? she says. Sorry, but you are all green, I thought you were Kermits girl friend". She feigns a laugh.


Then she says to me, " we are going to inject a dye into your vein, you understand that your urine will be bright yellow for several hours after"..... "HUH"! .... " Be sure to drink lots of water" .... me, "will beer do"? .... her, 'Whatever, sir"


A second technician comes in and tells me the same story. Then she starts to administer the dye. Kermits girlfriend starts taking pictures of my eye. There's those damn bright flashes again.


Technician number two says " I'm sorry sir but the dye didn't take, I'll have to do a second one... in another location" Oh damn now I have a double dose... my urine will light up the night. Great.


Kermits sweetheart takes the pictures, more bright lights, and says "Thank you sir, you can go" .... now everything is pink..... I look at the girl who administered the dye and ask, "Are you Miss Piggy"?


I have been banned from the eye doctors until December 2nd.


So Folks if I don't post things of interest, well you know why.