A night out

We were dressed and ready to go out to the Party. We turned on a night
light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put
the cat in the backyard.

 

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
and we opened the front door to leave the house.

 

As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted
back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because
she always tries to eat the bird.

 

My wife went on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the
cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

 

Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the
house would be empty for New Year's Eve. So, she explained to the taxi
driver that I would be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say
goodbye to my mother.'

 

A few minutes later, I got into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said,
as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to
poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to
take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a
blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat
ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! She better not shit
in the vegetable garden again!'

 

The silence in the cab was deafening.

 

Thanks Shirley