PUNS

 

 

Those who  jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine ...

A man's home  is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the  same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use  condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or  death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the  monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of  grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor  play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?



Reading  while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists  meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its  own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a  will? (It's a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts.
In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken  crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay  your exorcist, You get repossessed

With her  marriage, He got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You  feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local  Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every  calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted -
Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning  is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was  never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from  prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one  shopping centre, You've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread  recipes on a knead-to-know basis..

Santa's helpers are  subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture  is a jab well done.

 

Thanks Cliff