THOUGHTS FROM ’DUCKY’
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I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. So I said ‘Implants?’
She hit me.
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How come we choose from just two people to run for president
and over fifty for Miss America ?
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Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
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Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
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I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
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When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping.’
Now I just ‘chunky dunk.’
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Don’t argue with an idiot;
people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
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Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN!
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Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?A completely brilliant question!
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Wouldn’t you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go,
But FAT cells live forever.
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Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court
when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?Another completely brilliant question!
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Bumper sticker of the year: ‘If you can read this, thank a teacher –
and since it’s in English, thank a soldier’
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And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Ya’ just might want to pass this along...
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