My Resume

 1.   My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

 
 2.  Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
 
 3.  After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it  - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
 
 4.  Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
 
 5.  Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
 
 6.   Next, I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any  way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.
 
 7.  My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
 
 8.  I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
 
 9.  Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
 
 10.  I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
 
 11.  I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
 
 12.   So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
 
 13.   After many years of trying to find steady work! , I finally got a  job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
 
 14.   My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
 
 15.  SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

 

Thanks Randy