A guy decides to buy a sheer negligee for his honey, like maybe it's Valentine's Day or something, so he goes to Victoria's Secret, tells the clerk what he wants and the size. She returns with a lovely item, very sheer, that he likes a lot. She says it costs $200.
He says, "OK, but do you have anything in that size that's even more sheer?" The saleslady disappears for a few minutes then returns with a very wispy number. She says it costs $300. He says, "OK, but is this the most sheer negligee you have in her size?"
The saleslady disappears once more, returns with a truly transparent item which she says costs $500. He says, "OK, and is this the very most sheer one you have?" She assures him it is, so he buys it, has it gift wrapped and takes it home.
There he lowers the lights a little, puts on some music, opens a bottle of champagne and he and his lady have a few lovely, private moments. After a little while he gives her the gift, then suggests that she go upstairs and try it on. She agrees and takes it upstairs but in looking the lovely thing over she thinks, "Maybe I'll tease him a little.... it's so sheer he wouldn't know if I had it on or not." So she moves completely naked to the stairs, slinks down them, gets to the bottom and does a little pirouette, strikes a pose and says, "Well, what do you think?"
"GREAT!" he says with a big smile. "Damn! For five hundred bucks you'd think they'd have ironed the thing!"
He never heard the shot.
Funeral on Thursday at Noon.
Closed coffin...
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