Dear Abby:

My husband hasn't worked for the last 14 years. All he does is get dressed in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies .

I know he’s cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his granddaughters.

I know because he brags about this to me. He smokes fancy cigars and drinks the most expensive Champagne day and night.

We sleep in separate beds because he’s always telling me he knows I’m a lesbian and my varicose veins and big bottom turn him off!

Should I clobber him with my frying pan, or should I leave him, Abby?

Your advice would be appreciated.

Mad as Hell

Dear Mad as Hell:

You don’t have to take that kind of treatment from any man.

I suggest you pack your bags and move out a.s.a.p.

Don’t resort to clobbering him with the frying pan, and try to act like a lady!

Remember, you’re running for President of the United States, so try acting like it.

Thanks Norman