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Thursday, April 7, 2016

Senior Inspiration



My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go ...


 
Ate salad for dinner … Mostly croutons & tomatoes ... Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... And cheese ... FINE, it was a pizza ... I ate a pizza …
 
How to prepare Tofu:
1.  Throw it in the trash.
2.  Grill some Meat.
 
I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web ...
 
I don't mean to brag but … I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes ...
 
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it ...
 
Kids today don't know how easy they have it ... when I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel ...
 
Senility has been a smooth transition for me ...
 
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
 
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this ...
 
I love being over 50 … I learn something new every day … and forget 5 others ...
 
A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for money …so I woke up and searched with him ...
 
My dentist told me I need a crown … I said, “You bet, pour mine over rocks” …
 
I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day ...
 
PS: Sunday, March 13, 2016 began Daylight Savings Time … Did you forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night ... 

Thanks Randy

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