Speaking of Old Age

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one -  So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

 

I also made a cover for my hearing aid; and now I have

what they call blue teeth, I think.

 

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

 

I thought about  making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

 

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease.  That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

 

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' 

Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

 

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. 

I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

 

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older.  Then, it dawned on me.  They were cramming for their finals.

 

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

 

Enjoy your days, and love your life, because Life is a journey to be savored!

 

Did you ever notice:  When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...'

 

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

 

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

 

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..

 

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

 

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me!

I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

 

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

 

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Uh, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

 

Lord,

Keep your arm around my shoulder, and your hand over my mouth .... AMEN!

Thanks Pat H