Pauline's Top 10 Ideas for the province of Quebec... (satire?)

Top 10 ideas to make Quebec a distinct society - by Pauline 'la Reine' Marois

1)

Quebec will now have its own time zone. We will be 1 hour and ten years behind the rest of America.

2)

The Office québécois de la langue francaise will hire 1.5 million new language police over a three year period. These new positions will first be filled by the 500,000 Quebecers who lose their jobs in each of the next three years as our economy goes down the drain.

3)

Bill 14 will be amended to now restrict the use of English in households with more than 2 occupants.

4)

A new Government Department will be created to deal with multinational companies looking to invest in Quebec. This new department will consist of a team of 2 psychologists who will assess the mental stability of the directors of the investing company and their employees wishing to relocate to Quebec. It will also ensure that their children attend French schools.

5)

The new highest personal marginal tax bracket in Quebec will be increased to 58%. The new corporate tax rate will match that of France at 75%. This increased rate will be fazed in over 4 years for anyone with an income.

6)

University tuition freezes will be granted... however Quebec Pension Plan payments will now only start when you reach the age of 90.

7)

The Quebec French Dictionary will now define "majority" as anything over 33% since that equates with the percentage of the population that voted PQ. The second change is in the definition of the term "racism" which shall henceforth now be defined as only meaning attacks or restrictions against the language or religion of the majority of the population in Quebec.

8)

Tourists coming to Quebec must be able to pass a French literacy exam prior to entering the province in order that we avoid those unpleasant instances when they are greeted at a store, hotel, restaurant or by a Montreal bus driver in a language they don't understand.

9)

Corruption laws will be introduced to ensure that any kick back arrangements between private industry and government leaders are now done strictly in French.

10)

The cities of Hampstead, Cote St. Luc, Westmount, TMR, and Montreal-West will be merged into one mega city which will be named "A vendre, pas Cher".

 

Thanks Norman