When you are over 50...who gives a damn...

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.

She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut,
You'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."

* * * * *

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said to her, "Good legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now. "

* * * * *

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a
Woman was born just by feeling their tits.

"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."

After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.

"Come on, what day was I born"?

I said, “Yesterday."

* * * * *

"Jesus loves you."

A nice gesture in church but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Thanks Randy