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Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Dentist...........best joke of the New Year!

A dentist pulled out a numbing needle to give a male patient a shot of Novocain. "No way! No needles. I hate needles" said the man. The dentist started to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objected.  "I can't do the gas thing either. The thought of having the gas mask on, suffocates me!". The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objection to taking a pill. "No objection," said the man. "I'm fine with pills." The dentist then returned and said, "Here's a Viagra." The patient said, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!" "It doesn't" said the dentist, "but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth. 
Thanks Shirl

SELF CPR

>> What are you to do if you have a heart attack while you are alone? The Johnson City Medical Center staff actually discovered this and did an in-depth study on it in our ICU. > It was published and is now incorporated into ACLS and CPR classes. > It is very true and does work. It is called "Cough CPR". If everyone who gets this sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we'll save at least one life. > It could save your life! >> Let's say it's 6:15 p.m. And you're driving home > (alone of course), after an usually hard day on the job. > You're really tired, upset and frustrated. > Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital > nearest your home. >Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far. What can you do? > > You've been trained in CPR but the guy that taught the course didn't tell you what to do if it happened to you. > > Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, this article seemed to be in order. > Without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. > > However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. > A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. > A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. > Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. > The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital. >Tell as many other people as possible about this, it could save their lives! > From Health Cares, Rochester General Hospital via Chapter 240s newsletter 'AND THE BEAT GOES ON ' > (reprint from The Mended Hearts, Inc. Publication, Heart Response)
Thanks Harry

Sons

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the men’s room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the ladder.






He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. 
He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."





The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. 
He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot.






Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets.
He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."






The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire.





He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."






The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked, "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."






The three friends said: "What a shame. What a disappointment."
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.
And he hasn't done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
 
Thanks Randy

Irish Blessing

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.  There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. 



 
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.





 
'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.'

'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked.

'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly.
 



 
'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did.


Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted

Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.




 
Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin.



 
The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill ... His son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill




 
Someone once said:

What goes around comes around.
 



 
Work like you don't need the money.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Dance like nobody's watching.

Sing like nobody's listening.

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.


It's National Friendship Week. Send this to everyone you consider A FRIEND.


Pass this on and brighten some ones day.


AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH:


I hope it works...


May there always be work for your hands to do;

May your purse always hold a coin or two;

May the sun always shine on your windowpane;

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;

May the hand of a friend always be near you;

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

And may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead..

Thanks Marc

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Tuesday's Vehicle - BUS RV FOR SALE: 1960 Vintage double decker RV Motorhome


A good read

The Strict Father Is at the Core of Conservative Ideology and Values

By George Lakoff, Chelsea Green Publishing | Book Excerpt

Learn more about how progressives can better express values that improve the common good - through political language that appeals to people's better selves. Get THE ALL NEW Don't Think of an Elephant! Know Your Values and Frame the Debate by the master of "framing," George Lakoff. Click here now to receive your copy. '

Liberals tend not to understand conservatives, and their confusion is showing. On the one hand liberals see conservatives in disarray and react with glee at the fragmentation: the Tea Party vs. Libertarians vs. Neocons vs. Wall Street. Eric Cantor, the Republican Majority Leader, brought down by a Tea Party unknown. John Boehner unable to control his majority in the House. Republican primary challenges everywhere.

On the other hand, liberals are scared stiff of the Koch brothers and other wealthy Republicans bankrolling Republican candidates at every level all over the country. They are scared of a Republican takeover. And they should be.

Which is it?

READ MORE: http://www.truth-out.org/progressivepicks/item/27538-the-strict-father-is-at-the-core-of-conservative-ideology-and-values

Political Cartoons





Senior Cartoons









Thanks Lorrie

Monday, February 23, 2015

Monday's Vehicles - The Revs Institute for Automotive Research HD Version


Baird: The bumbling bullhorn

Andrew Cohen: John Baird made a mess of foreign policy

So now it falls to Robert Douglas Nicholson — the plodding journeyman — to inherit the world of John Baird.

The office will elevate Nicholson, but will Nicholson elevate the office? Will he bring to it less certainty and more humility?

After Baird, the mogul of the megaphone, it won’t be that hard.

To his chorus of admirers, Baird was “principled.” He was “a rare beacon of light” and “a pillar of strength.” He was “a great foreign minister.”

 That superlative comes from Jason Kenney, the new defence minister.

Ironically, Kenney should be foreign minister; more than anyone in cabinet, Kenney has the intelligence and sophistication for serious diplomacy.

But Kenney is not in the job because he has a consistency of morality that Baird did not. Kenney’s problem is that he believes in human rights everywhere, not just where it is convenient.

There was a time Stephen Harper did, too, but he caved on China when he realized the economic cost. Kenney never did and he remains persona non grata in Beijing

. - See more at: http://www.timescolonist.com/opinion/columnists/andrew-cohen-john-baird-made-a-mess-of-foreign-policy-1.1762900#sthash.QGUow14J.dpuf