Skinny Dipping .

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back that was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice

with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't

been there for a while.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned.

'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Some old men can still think fast.

 Thanks Randy

Four Retirees Go to a Bar

Four old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona . They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents. "They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

 

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"

 

There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."

 

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other, They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

 

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 cents, please."

 

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet.

 

Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"

 

"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."

 

"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.

 

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, "What's with them?"

 

The bartender says, "They're retired people from Florida. They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price..."

Thanks Pat

 

Monday's Ride - 1970 Triumph GT6

Four Grounds of Impeachment for Trump

This should put the vaccine out of reach for the average American

Cuba’s Had A Lung Cancer Vaccine For Years, And Now It’s Coming To The U.S.

President Barack Obama became the first president to visit Cuba in almost 90 years when he and first lady Michelle Obama traveled to the island nation in March. But one of the most exciting things about the thawing of relations between Cuba and the U.S. is happening stateside right now: the possibility of clinical trials on a drug to prevent lung cancer, and possibly other cancers, too.

CimaVax, which is both a treatment and vaccine for lung cancer, has been researched in Cuba for 25 years and free to the Cuban public since 2011. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s trade mission to Cuba in April 2015 resulted in a signed agreement to bring CimaVax to the U.S., but as with all international drugs and treatments, U.S. researchers need to conduct clinical trials and replicate international scientists’ results before it becomes available to the American public.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2016/02/22/cuba-lung-cancer-vaccine_n_7267518.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003

Ivanka

The incoherent Presidency

What life is like for those who don’t want to learn.

Thanks Kerry

Can't teach an old dog new tricks

Thanks Kerry

Sunday's Ride - Megola

Take my Son.....

 

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art..    

When the  Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son. 

 

About a month later, just before Christmas, 

 

There was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.. 

 

He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly... He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.' 

 

The father Opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'   

 

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.  

 

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection. 

 

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son Who will bid for this picture?'  

 

There was silence... 

 

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.' 

 

But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?'  

 

Another voice angrily. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandts. Get on with the Real bids!' 

But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?'

 

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the painting...' 

Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.   

 

'We have $10, who will bid $20?'  

 

'Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.'   

 

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

 

The auctioneer pounded the gavel.. 'Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!' 

 

A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection!'  

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.'  

'What about the paintings?' 

 

'I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will... I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.   

 

The man who took the son gets everything!' 

 

God gave His son over 2,000 years ago to die on the Cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: 'The Son, the Son, who'll take the Son?'  

 

Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything!

 

 

 

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE 

Thanks Kerry