Monday, March 2, 2015
So there, police do care.
Are you irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that they don't care about or respect others? Well, here is a story that clearly shows not all cops are in that category.
This story involves the police department in Red Deer, Alberta who reported finding a man's body last Saturday in the early evening in the Gaetz Park area.
The dead man's name would not be released until his family had been notified. The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption while visiting "someone" in the park.
He was wearing black fishnet stockings, 6-inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple lipstick dazzle dust on his eyelids, 2 1/2 inch false eyelashes and a Stephen Harper T-shirt.
The Red Deer police removed the Stephen Harper T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
Grandma's Sayings
SOME OF YOU WILL Remember these sayings,
(FOR THE REST OF YOU IT WILL BE A LEARNING SITUATION)A LICK AND A PROMISE
'I'll just give this a lick and a promise,' my mother said as she quickly mopped up a spill on the floor without moving any of the furniture.'What is that supposed to mean,' I asked as in my young mind I envisioned someone licking the floor with his or her tongue.'It means that I'm in a hurry and I'm busy canning tomatoes so I am going to just give it a lick with the mop and promise to come back and do the job right later.'A lick and a promise' was just one of the many old phrases that our mothers, grandmothers, and others used that they probably heard from the generations before them.With the passing of time, many old phrases become obsolete or even disappear. This is unfortunate because some of them are very appropriate and humorous.HOW many of these do you know ? ?Here is a list of some of those memorable old phrases:1. A Bone to Pick (someone who wants to discuss a disagreement)2. An Axe to Grind (Someone who has a hidden motive. This phrase is said to have originated from Benjamin Franklin who told a story about a devious man who askedhow a grinding wheel worked. He ended up walking away with his axe sharpened free of charge)3. One bad apple spoils the whole barrel (one corrupt person can cause all the others to go bad if you don't remove the bad one)4. At sea (lost or not understanding something)5. Bad Egg (Someone who was not a good person)6. Barking at a knot (meaning that your efforts were as useless as a dog barking at a knot.)7. Barking up the wrong tree (talking about something that was completely the wrong issue with the wrong person)8. Bee in your bonnet (To have an idea that won't let loose )9. Been through the mill (had a rough time of it)10.Between hay and grass (Not a child or an adult)11. Blinky (Between sweet and sour as in milk)12. Calaboose (a jail)13. Catawampus (Something that sits crooked such as a piece of furniture sitting at an angle)14. Dicker (To barter or trade)15. Feather in Your Cap (to accomplish a goal. This came from years ago in wartime when warriors might receive a feather they would put in their cap for defeating an enemy)16. Hold your horses (Be patient!)17. Hoosegow ( a jail)18. I reckon (I suppose)19. Jawing/Jawboning (Talking or arguing)20. Kit and caboodle (The whole thing)21. Madder than an wet hen (really angry)22. Needs taken down a notch or two (like notches in a belt usually a young person who thinks too highly of himself and needs a lesson)23.No Spring Chicken (Not young anymore)24.Persnickety (overly particular or snobbish)25.Pert-near (short for pretty near)26.Pretty is as pretty does (your actions are more important than your looks)27.Red up (clean the house)28.Scalawag (a rascal or unprincipled person)29.Scarce as hen's teeth (something difficult to obtain)30.Skedaddle (Get out of here quickly)31. Sparking (courting)32.Straight From the Horse's Mouth (privileged information from the one concerned)33.Stringing around, gallivanting around, or piddling (Not doing anything of value)34.Sunday go to meetin' dress (The best dress you had)35.We wash up real fine (is another goodie)36.Tie the Knot (to get married)37.Too many irons in the fire (to be involved in too many things)38.Tuckered out (tired and all worn out)39. Under the weather (not feeling well this term came from going below deck on ships due to sea sickness thus you go below or under the weather)40.Wearing your 'best bib and tucker' (Being all dressed up)41. You ain't the only duck in the pond (It's not all about you)Well, if you hold your horses, I reckon I'll get this whole kit and caboodle done and sent off to you. Please don't be too persnickety and get a bee in your bonnet because I've been pretty tuckered out and at sea lately because I'm no spring chicken. I haven't been just stringin' around and I know I'm not the only duck in the pond, but I do have too many irons in the fire. I might just be barking at a knot, but I have tried to give this article more than just a lick and a promise.
Thanks Marc
Your morning smile
Italian Honeymoon
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.
Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?”
Luigi said, "Everyting wasa perfecto except for da train ride down."
"Whatayou mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.
"Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station. My beautiful Virginia , she pack a biga basket a food.
She brought da vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were lookina forward to da trip, and open ups da lunch basket.
The conductor comes by, waga his finger at us anda say, 'no eat indisa car. Musta use a dining car..’
So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to da dining car, eat a biga lunch and starta at open da bottle of a nice a vino!
Conductore walka by again, waga his finger and say, 'No drinka in disa car! Musta use a cluba car.' So, we go to cluba car.
While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my biga cigar. The conductore, he waga is finger again and say, 'No a smokina disa car. Musta go to asmokina car ..’
"We go to a smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar. Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to a sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to go boombada boombada and
the conductore, he walka through da hallway shouting at a top of his avoice..
'Nofolka Virginia ! Nofolka Virginia !’
"Nexta time, I'ma just gonna taka da bus."
Thanks Ivan
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Therapy
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of
men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,’ she told him.
Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,’ she told him.
Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the
side, loosened his trousers, and put her hands inside.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the
side, loosened his trousers, and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
‘Feels great,’ he replied; ‘but I still think my thumb's broken!’
Thanks Ralph
‘Feels great,’ he replied; ‘but I still think my thumb's broken!’
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)